Thursday, January 15, 2009

I've got an idea! Why don't you go stuff your douchebag beanie down your urethra instead of irritating fellow humans?

I am irrationally angry.

I hate people who think they are so morally superior, they can lecture others on how to live their lives.

A big sub-category of this sort of people are "True animal lovers", and a sub-sub category of that is "True dog lovers".

Honestly, dog lovers annoy me to no end. For the last fucking time, I am not interested in YOUR dog, especially not if it's not cute, barky, slobbery, or imposes itself on me.

I hate big dogs which are very active and try to stand up on my chest. Ewww, no thanks, fuck off!

I love my dog (her name is Pumpkin btw, I just thought of it on a whim but thanks for the suggestions you all! :D), but that's only because she is a companion to me. This does not mean I automatically love ALL dogs.

What did these other dogs do to deserve me loving, or even liking them? By mere virtue that they are dogs? I don't think so.

Now I don't give a shit about whether these people think of themselves as True dog lovers, but just don't fucking go and impose your theories on others, ok? Keep your bloody opinions to yourself.

You don't HAVE to go on and on about how people who prefer cats to dogs are ignorant and stupid. It's their goddamn personal choice, ok?

You don't HAVE to go on and on about how Paris Hilton is a dumb bitch for loving small dogs. You like your big dogs, Paris and I love our small ones. Woman love cute things: GET OVER IT. It's our maternal instincts. IT DOES NOT MEAN WE DO NOT TREAT OUR DOGS WELL.

I owned a hamster and it's very tiny and cute, but I don't get judged over it.

Why is it that when I say I only like small dogs, I must be judged? Oh, Wendy, you don't truly love dogs... You only like them coz they are cute.

That's bullseye! Very acute observation! Is there anything wrong with it? I don't lynch big dogs, I am just indifferent to them. Loads of people are, so fuck off my back.

Anyway, the reason for this long rant is this:


My friend Janice posted a video of her dog Sally wearing booties. And guess what? True dog lover comes along!




Ridiculous.

Why am I so angry?

Because I am exactly the sort of person who will put clothes on my dog, and I AM NOT ASHAMED OF IT.

What's so cruel about that?

In winter countries, people wear clothes on dogs and even horses so they don't freeze up.

If putting those clothes on the dogs is acceptable for practical reasons, then why can't the clothes also be pretty at the same time?????????

Oh no........ If you put pretty clothes on a dog, it automatically means you are doing it out of vanity.

So how? Dog clothes must always be ugly to show you love your dog and you are not trying to make a clown out of the dog is it?

As long as the dogs do not feel uncomfortable underneath the clothes, I don't see what the big fuss is.

They can't feel humiliation or have the ability to pick a style for themselves, so what's the problem? It's not like other naked dogs will laugh at a clothed dog making it permanently mentally scarred or whatever. It's not like a dog will go, "Oh, I don't like punk that much, please dress me in Goth."


What really gets me is ROBIN GUY AND HIS BOOTIES BULLSHIT.

When it was explained that the booties were put on for a valid medical reason, he tries to change the topic by saying it is cruel to take a video of a "crippled" dog (and woo, put a soundtrack to it! If its no soundtrack it's much less "fucked up"!)


Firstly: THE DOG IS NOT CRIPPLED.

I don't know Janice very well, but I've seen her post stuff about her dogs all the time, and I know she loves them. Their coats are well-maintained and they look healthy and well-taken care of.

The booties were probably an extra precaution to something that can potentially be a health problem to her dog.

What's so fucked up about the video?



Maybe I should argue from the top:

2) No snow in Singapore, therefore no booties for Sally.

Wow, this retard actually observed that there is no snow in Singapore! Guess what genius?! The exactly opposite is true! We've got loads of sunshine!

And need I link it for you? Sunshine = scorching hot pavements = very cruel to dogs with bare feet.

Geddit douchebag? Booties are good.


3) Trained dogs with booties OK, vain dogs with booties not OK.

Is it ok if the trained dogs wear pink furry boots with diamantes on them? The correct answer is YES, as long as it protects the dogs' feet from harm.

Why? BECAUSE FUCKING DOGS HAVE NO SENSE OF STYLE, GEDDIT?



4) Humans should be jailed 2 years and lashed 15 times for putting shoes on dogs.

I think he should be jailed and repeatedly sodomized with a studded dog bootie. Who agrees?! Wooooooooo!



5) Dachshunds are "rat-like".

Janice's dog is a dachshund. -_-

Seems to me like someone was not loved by his mama as a kid, and have missed a few important lessons on politeness, didn't he?

Tell you what Robin. Why don't you stop being so polite to dogs and be more polite to humans who can actually understand your words and get hurt, huh?

Calling someone's dog "rat-like" to their faces (facebook mah hahaha) is quite bloody rude.

Anyway, I think you are "asshole-like" or something similar. Just saying.


6) Woman mad because she thinks SG floors are dirty.

Contrary to popular belief by retards, SG floors are not clean enough to eat your dinners on. Ahhh... I guess maybe for you angmohs who love to third-world-country trot to prove how fully you live your life it IS clean enough.

And this woman does not need to explain herself to you about putting booties on her dog.

Her reason could be "I am just using my dog as a fashion accessory!!" and there is nothing you can do about it.

How about calling the police and having her arrested?

Retard. Dirty floors are a valid concern! If humans can step on thumbtacks at some point in their life, so can dogs, ok! Oh my, I better get Pumpkin some steel-toed boots.


7) People in Singapore are mad.

Right, right. People who put booties on dogs are mad. And what do you call Sylvia Plath??

Get the fuck out of Singapore. I know Janice and I won't miss you!



8) This idiot is so fucking rude.





You have a different opinion from your friend. SO BE IT. She is not hurting her dog, so why don't you let it go?

You don't have to be so fucking vengeful as to snidely say she needs "help", do you?

Guess what? You are the one needing help. Scratch that. You need a good fuck. I heard blue balls make people grumpy and mindlessly anal about minute issues. Sounds like you.

Oh wait. You do like women, right? Right, your profile said so. I thought for a moment you liked animals. You know, in that way...



9) Why are YOU dressing up...






As a fruity douchebag?


Hey loser, why are you putting on an orange beanie and aviator shades at home in front of your laptop, while taking an act cool picture with your webcam?

Are you lunatic? Are you treating your head as a fashion accessory?

Stop being so cruel to your head! How do you know if your eyes like those shades?

Blah blah blah.

(Is that a mac I see?! Are all moral-lecturers mac lovers or what!? [Ok now calm down, I didn't say all mac lovers are moral-lecturers ok!])


Shouldn't this fucker be more concerned/angsty about people slaughtering dogs for food? Eh? Why he getting his panties all twisted over something that doesn't do any actual harm to dogs?



Robin Hicks - Self-righteous prick needing a fuck


Are you balding Robin? If not why the beanies? Is it because someone metal-stamped "Douchebag" on your forehead??



OK! I am done with my rant and I feel much better!


As far as I know, there are only 2 things that dogs like.

No. 1: Food.

No. 2: Attention. (This includes us giving attention by taking them for walks, playing with them, etc)

If putting on cute apparel means more attention for dogs (maybe even food), I'm sure they will be all for it, except they are a bit too dumb to make the correlation.



p/s: Robin, I'm doubly dressing my dog up just for you. Muah!

p/p/s: I've always wondered if people who treat any random animal better than their own friends/family are raped by a parent when they are kids, thus making them lose faith in all humankind.

Can't be mentally normal that someone really wants to cane a human 15 bloody lashes for something as harmless as putting on shoes on dogs right??

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