Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I win for "Grossest New Year Anyone Can Probably Be Experiencing"
Happy new year!
Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!
More about that later.
As I was saying, Happy New Year!
You know who is NOT happy today?
Me.
You know who is even more unhappy than me today?
The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.
Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?
(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)
Yup. Disgusting.
You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.
So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.
Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.
Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."
"Okay!" I chirped.
So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.
Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.
"What?!" Mike said.
"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.
"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."
"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."
WELL APPARENTLY THEY CAN!
Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!
The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.
The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.
That brown liquid had flies on it.
"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.
"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.
We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.
We were both wrong.
We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.
Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.
A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...
OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......
I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!
"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.
"Might be funny later," I shrugged.
No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'
And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.
So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.
The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.
It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.
The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.
I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.
The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.
The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??
It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.
And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.
Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.
My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.
One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!
My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.
All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.
Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!
Poured Dettol down every possible surface
Dettol is awesome!
And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.
There.
We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.
So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.
When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!
(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)
The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!
Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.
About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!
Imagine that.
Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!
Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.
Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!
Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!
So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!
Creative, huh?!
At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.
I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.
"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"
"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.
After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!
But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.
Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!
I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...
But honestly though... I quite understand.
I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.
That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.
Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??
I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.
Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D
I'll update with USA pics soon!!
p/s:
Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!
More about that later.
As I was saying, Happy New Year!
You know who is NOT happy today?
Me.
You know who is even more unhappy than me today?
The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.
Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?
(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)
Yup. Disgusting.
You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.
So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.
Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.
Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."
"Okay!" I chirped.
So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.
Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.
"What?!" Mike said.
"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.
"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."
"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."
WELL APPARENTLY THEY CAN!
Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!
The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.
The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.
That brown liquid had flies on it.
"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.
"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.
We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.
We were both wrong.
We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.
Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.
A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...
OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......
I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!
"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.
"Might be funny later," I shrugged.
No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'
And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.
So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.
The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.
It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.
The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.
I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.
The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.
The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??
It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.
And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.
Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.
My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.
One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!
My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.
All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.
Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!
Poured Dettol down every possible surface
Dettol is awesome!
And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.
There.
We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.
So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.
When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!
(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)
The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!
Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.
About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!
Imagine that.
Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!
Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.
Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!
Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!
********************************
So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!
Creative, huh?!
At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.
I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.
"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"
"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.
After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!
But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.
Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!
I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...
But honestly though... I quite understand.
I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.
That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.
Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??
I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.
Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D
I'll update with USA pics soon!!
p/s:
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Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!
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Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Guest Blogger: Carrie from Bloomacious- (7 Must-haves for your New Years party)
I’m Carrie Leber and my magazine, Bloomacious is a mix of style news and ideas. The amazing MadeByGirl herself, Jennifer thought I might have a few thoughts for must haves for New Year’s partying. I’ve been to a few of these over the years and I must say that while you can go way over the top, there are a few ingredients make it a night like no other:
1) You simply must have at least two gals who love to holler, particularly after they’ve gotten a few drinks in them. While you may tire, or want to sneak off into a quiet dark corner at some point – the party gals will act as cheerleaders for your guests, keeping them perked up and entertained until at least midnight.
2) Something really spectacular to drink – can be either alcoholic or non, and not necessarily super expensive – it should just be a combination that’s a little unusual like Proseco with a float of Frambois, or sparkling cider spiked with cherry juice. Let your imagination guide you.
3) No matter where you are, the quintessential New Year’s moment is when the ball drops in Times Square. If you don’t have at least one TV in the vicinity of your party, guests will get restless wondering what’s going on in the Big Apple. Don’t torture them – just tune in. Sound off or on.
4) Wear high heels. These are from Jimmy Choo.
5) Don’t let the music stop for a moment on New Year’s and don’t fool yourself into playing romantic or orchestral tunes. People want to dance and act out. Rock with as many disco hits as you can gather for the big night.
6) Like your heels, your dress should be scandalous. This doesn’t mean expensive, but when you look back at the pictures from the night years later you’ll want to fondly remember how great you felt in your outfit.
7) If you incorporate no other decoration into the evening, dim the lights and spark up as many candles as you can get your hands on. It’s instant magic!
8) Most important, scope out your kissing partner for midnight early. It can be a lover, baby, dog, or doll – just make sure you love them enough to want to make the jump into the new year with them.
1) You simply must have at least two gals who love to holler, particularly after they’ve gotten a few drinks in them. While you may tire, or want to sneak off into a quiet dark corner at some point – the party gals will act as cheerleaders for your guests, keeping them perked up and entertained until at least midnight.
2) Something really spectacular to drink – can be either alcoholic or non, and not necessarily super expensive – it should just be a combination that’s a little unusual like Proseco with a float of Frambois, or sparkling cider spiked with cherry juice. Let your imagination guide you.
3) No matter where you are, the quintessential New Year’s moment is when the ball drops in Times Square. If you don’t have at least one TV in the vicinity of your party, guests will get restless wondering what’s going on in the Big Apple. Don’t torture them – just tune in. Sound off or on.
4) Wear high heels. These are from Jimmy Choo.
5) Don’t let the music stop for a moment on New Year’s and don’t fool yourself into playing romantic or orchestral tunes. People want to dance and act out. Rock with as many disco hits as you can gather for the big night.
6) Like your heels, your dress should be scandalous. This doesn’t mean expensive, but when you look back at the pictures from the night years later you’ll want to fondly remember how great you felt in your outfit.
7) If you incorporate no other decoration into the evening, dim the lights and spark up as many candles as you can get your hands on. It’s instant magic!
8) Most important, scope out your kissing partner for midnight early. It can be a lover, baby, dog, or doll – just make sure you love them enough to want to make the jump into the new year with them.
Labels:
new years
Monday, December 29, 2008
Guest Blogger: Ericka from JuBella (7 Things I loved this Month)
Hi everybody, it's Ericka here from JuBella. I want to thank Jen for having me over as a guest blogger while she is out and about! Jen asked me to share 7 things that I'm loving this month (just 7 Jen? Ok, I'll try...LOL), so here they are...Enjoy!
1. Homemade Hot Cocoa: No need to buy powdered cocoa again, all you need is some melted decadent chocolate and milk (I use almond milk). Super yummy & cozy!
2. The Gentle Art of Domesticity: Stitching, Baking, Nature, Art & The Comforts of Home by Jane Brocket: Homemaking made pretty. This book is gorgeous and filled with inspiring eye candy!
3. Artful Blogging Magazine: Swoon...I picked up a copy of this magazine recently and it is so worth subscribing to!
4. Lei Li Loo Appliqued Dish Cloths: what can I say, I have a thing for tea towels & such, and these are so very pretty to me!
5. Gingerbread Men Macarons by Tartelette: Pure genius! If you have not checked out this blog, it is a definite read & filled with the most tasty and creative recipes & photos!
3. Artful Blogging Magazine: Swoon...I picked up a copy of this magazine recently and it is so worth subscribing to!
4. Lei Li Loo Appliqued Dish Cloths: what can I say, I have a thing for tea towels & such, and these are so very pretty to me!
5. Gingerbread Men Macarons by Tartelette: Pure genius! If you have not checked out this blog, it is a definite read & filled with the most tasty and creative recipes & photos!
6. Bohemian Abodes: What I wouldn't give to be able to create in such a space!
Image from: Apartment Therapy
7. Sandra Banava's Citronella: Color Theory: Collections. So colorful and rich!
Image from: Apartment Therapy
7. Sandra Banava's Citronella: Color Theory: Collections. So colorful and rich!
Labels:
jubella
Raima Sen Topless For Maxim
Raima Sen, known as a straight actress aka Miss Goody among Bollywood artist, shows the her naughty edition of Maxim magazine this month.
Raima Sen make over to be sexy and beautiful pose on the Maxim magazine. He appears very sexy lingerie with a black cover on the magazine's special man. and in some photos he appears wearing white lingerie and black, that looks so sexy, sensual, and very eye seduce men.
Magazines with the issue in November is also attach the results of interviews with the artists directly claiming to be happy if the date Casanova faithful.
Joy Datta, famous fashion photographer, work in zero-pose sexy pose Raima Sen in the magazine. He also use the sexy photographs of previous actress, Deepika Padukone and Malaika Arora.
Maxim is a popular magazine for men, and this edition is ready scrub scrub-eye with many men pose pose-sensual and sexy Raima Sen, who is known as the girl "good", which is now the "open-opener" in the future camera.
Raima Sen make over to be sexy and beautiful pose on the Maxim magazine. He appears very sexy lingerie with a black cover on the magazine's special man. and in some photos he appears wearing white lingerie and black, that looks so sexy, sensual, and very eye seduce men.
Magazines with the issue in November is also attach the results of interviews with the artists directly claiming to be happy if the date Casanova faithful.
Joy Datta, famous fashion photographer, work in zero-pose sexy pose Raima Sen in the magazine. He also use the sexy photographs of previous actress, Deepika Padukone and Malaika Arora.
Maxim is a popular magazine for men, and this edition is ready scrub scrub-eye with many men pose pose-sensual and sexy Raima Sen, who is known as the girl "good", which is now the "open-opener" in the future camera.
Labels:
RAIMA SEN
Celina Jaitley: A Stripper
One of the most hot stars in Bollywood, Celina Jaitley will show off the beauty of the body. During this Celina Jaitley often appear with the sexy clothing and invite Set naughty in the big screen.
This time, the star of this sexy portray the American stripper in the movie titled SHOWMAN that starred together Govinda and Rimi Sen.
In this film Celina Jaitley impersonating a London girl who came from poor families, descendants of Indian and English. To support the family he worked as a stripper at a nightclub.
Celina Jaitley had to do pole dance, and also wearing bikinis on the beach viol play in the previous film. And of course Celina Jaitley will be comfortable with the role of the naked dancers.
This time, the star of this sexy portray the American stripper in the movie titled SHOWMAN that starred together Govinda and Rimi Sen.
In this film Celina Jaitley impersonating a London girl who came from poor families, descendants of Indian and English. To support the family he worked as a stripper at a nightclub.
Celina Jaitley had to do pole dance, and also wearing bikinis on the beach viol play in the previous film. And of course Celina Jaitley will be comfortable with the role of the naked dancers.
Labels:
CELINA JAITLEY
Katrina Kaif -Most Sexy Asian Woman
According to a Poll in UK,among the Sexy Bollywood stars, Katrina Kaif is now the Asia's most sexy woman.
In the annual poll conducted by Eastern Eye newspaper had the top British Asian. Katrina Kaif, who grew up in London, is in the order in the top of the ever achieved Bipasha Basu in 2007 and two more high-level above Priyanka Chopra in 2006.
In the annual poll conducted by Eastern Eye newspaper had the top British Asian. Katrina Kaif, who grew up in London, is in the order in the top of the ever achieved Bipasha Basu in 2007 and two more high-level above Priyanka Chopra in 2006.
Labels:
KATRINA KAIF
Masami Mitsuoka
Masami Mitsuoka (光岡昌美, Mitsuoka Masami) (born August 14, 1986 in Aichi Prefecture, Japan) is a Japanese singer.
Labels:
Japanese singer,
Masami Mitsuoka,
光岡昌美