Perils of being stuck at home with Auntie Cheng

Mom:

"Hey. The shiitake mushrooms you bought ah, faster go eat, or they will spoil."



ME, watching news:

"How they spoil? Mushrooms will spoil one meh??"



Mom:

"OF COURSE WILL LAH! The last time you bought also spoilt. GROW MOULDY ah wait."



Me:

"Rubbish. Mushroom is a fungus, so why would fungus grow on it?"







*stony silence from Auntie Cheng*

Me:

"Huh mommy? Tell me leh, how come fungus grow on fungus?"



Mom:

I don't know. If you really want to find out ah, I suggest you go ask ...







*pause while I thought that I don't know any environmentalist I can possibly ask this question to*



Mom:

"I suggest you go and ask the mushroom."



Me:

"..."

************************

Later on:



-The news shows how Beijing people have a new interesting hobby of riding horses-



Mom, from behind the sink washing dishes but stealing looks at the TV:

"You know hor, girl, that riding on horses is actually very fun one leh."



Me:

"Very fun meh. What about if you are the horse? How would you feel if people always climb on you and put their smelly ass on your back? Poor horseys."









*Mom shoots me a very irritated look*



... and after a short pause...



Mom:

"You know what is wrong with you? You are going crazy, everyday only go write nonsense on your blog. Poor horse ah ... Then you don't use the toilet paper lah, he everyday must wipe your backside, also very poor thing."



Me:

"..."





*short pause of silence*



Me:

"Mommy mommy!!!!"



Mom, in a snappish voice:

"WHAT?!"



Me:

"Mommy mommy I want a pony. Can I have a little pony please? Please mommy? I want a pony. =( Buy a pony for me!"







*short pause while Auntie Cheng shoots me an extremely dirty and vindictive look. The ground trembles*



Mom:

"I really wonder what I did to deserve a daughter like you. Whole day only talk nonsense! Talk nonsense never mind, unemployed, huh, then got the brains don't want to study, huh, then whole day only say crazy things ..."



Me:

*scrambles back into bedroom*





***********************







Updated: I don't know if you have seen this site. It's Americans saying sorry to the world for choosing Bush.



For some weird reason, it made me cry. Oh yeah, that, and Americans are quite cute and many of them have digital cameras. OMG total bimbo!



Oh yeah and this too. Quite interesting. Ta. Not in a good mood tonight.