My computer is down again, and I am feeling very lethargic recently, so I am going to just post a shitload of photos.

I want to blog about topics but I feel very sleeppppppppy...

I don't like using my Momo's computer, but my computer is fucked up.

Sigh... Do you feel lethargic? Me too.




WAH SIAO! Look rich or not? These photos were taken at the Lime photoshoot. I donned on their fur coat thingy, which I think Zoe has worn before! So cool right?




That lady is the stylist! She is the one scurrying around with pins on her apron and putting clips on the back of loose clothes! Very cool, very cool! She adjusts hair, picks clothes, and stand back to admire her work while artistes pose.

Anyway, the Lime (or mediacorp) people are very cool! They had a very cute idea which was to digitally put me on a mac mouse and lasso-ing the damn USB port! Funny not?

When I arrived they were shooting the mouse.

..........


ABBIE!! (Shuyin's cousin's daughter)

A LOT OF HER PHOTOS! Now not so grainy coz I have a nice new camera!


Abbie and mommy... So sweet... She also put her head on my shoulder like that when she wanted to sleep!

Help me, my heart melted! I told Shuyin that when Abbie does that I feel almost ready to lie down my life for her. Very kua zhang hor, not even blood-related! But she is so adorable.


My fav! Her eyes are so nice!


Zoom!


Curly curly hair!


Orh, Shuyin poke her and make her cry.


Heh heh!


Ah, what you want?


Hmmm


Weeeee!! Paiseh, this is me, not Abbie.

And this is the view she gets when I throw her up into the air!



Shuyin and I were going around Sun Plaza when we found this shop, selling this perfectly nice dress for TEN FREAKING DOLLARS! And as if that is not enough, also got free necklace!

The best buy in my life can?!!!!

WE BOUGHT PINK AND BROWN:




Nice nice nice!




Shuyin say the necklace looks like pig's snout.



Guess who stayed over and took stupid photos? Btw, if you didn't already know, Shuyin's new christian name is Tupperware Teo. You can also call her Tuppy Teo for short.




Tuppy tied my hair into a complicated wu xia pian plait.

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Welcome to the Class 95 blind dates! My headphones (used by Mr Howard Lo last week), and my notes on the 3 participating guys.

Oh yeah, I had to chose two out of 3 so I chose the policeman and the scholar. I really want to see how designer guy looks like though!

The next episode will be next week, Wednesday, at 10pm. Tune in!



Very pretty and bubbly DJ Yasminne! I like her! She thinks she is fat, so can you all please convince her she is not fat? NOW!


Reminder to self: No point putting so much eye make-up if you decide to squint at cameras in the end.



KAPOW! I am very clever! I used super powers to make Yasminne's cup slanted!

...............................




I went to the new Panasonic VS2 phone's launch at Indochine with Joel! Well, stupid Tuppy and Wanyi were supposed to go too, but they dua-ed me. They gave free skittles!

Hey, where are the pink ones?


Oh there they are...


Yay!


Joel and I with the new phone!

We were just sitting around, then I nudged Joel in the ribs rather excitably coz I saw this blogger whom I think is very pretty! We said hi and I asked her to take a photo... I don't know if she wants me to link her, so I can tell you her nickname is clapbangkiss and you can go google yourself...


Compare Joel's eyes and her eyes.

Oh yeah in case you are wondering, the thing Joel is holding is the stick for a chicken thing. That greedy poke. Pretty hor?


The belly dancer they hired look like Ah Kua...

Speaking of the phone ah... This new phone has Sonic the hedgehog inside! PanaSONIC, geddit? WHAHAHAHA I AM SO LAME.


They had a belly dancing contest and I forced Joel to join! His phone, an ancient 8250, has a very bad temper indeed, and off-s itself whenever a call comes in. A new Panasonic VS2 (the prize) will do Joel good.



But alas. *Facepalm* When asked to bellydance all Joel managed to do was to thrust his hips backwards and forewards in an obscene sexual manner and the ultimate paiseh thing is he is supposed to open the phone with a simple one-touch button and he failed - around 4 times - on stage.

Who would have thought this guy has an almost perfect SAT score, is about to get his masters from U of Chicago, and has parents who are both PhD holders?

He came back grumpy but laughing, saying, "Where got one-touch, one-touch my l**jiao!" or something to that effect while I hyperventilated in hysterical laughter.

...................................




Weili and I went to watch fireworks at Marina Bay! We freaking WALKED from the MRT, and I can tell you, the journey there almost killed me.

After 30 minutes or so, we reached the food carnival and ate rubbish. We stupidly bought this "cod-fish otah" thing, which was ultimately disgusting. $2.

It was otah in a plasic box, raw and hard, with bits of undercooked fish inside.

Weili scooped a mouthful and spitted it out. I thought he was poisoned.

"Nah," he said in a dry cough. "All for you, it is really very horrible, I don't want it."

I looked at him and thought what a picky young man he is.

I took a bite. WAH CHEEKEN MCNUGGET! TASTE LIKE SHIT CAN? It is cheap fishballs with a bit of spice and dyed to a gastly orange colour. I dug out a piece of fish and tried eating it, but guess what? It was undercooked, and had SCALES, YES SCALES, inside! SCALES LEH! Not one, not two, but many! Scales! The things fishes have on their bodies that humans DO NOT eat!

Heng it was Weili who paid for it. I threw it away.

We walked some more towards the make-shift stadium, where Rui-en, Taufik, and our president was.

Lots and lots of people! We walked along the stands, trying to find spaces to sit down on the ground, because all the seats were taken. I can't sit on the ground as I was in a dress.



AND WE FOUND A PRIME SEAT! I don't know why, but amidst those full wooden elevated seats was a space for two people, and we immediately went for it. I still cannot believe our luck! You have to look at my face (points above) to see how excited I was.


Shiok! See the lady at my side also very happy for us.


Jellyfish in the sky!


Boom...


BOOM!!!


And crisis...

Everyone starts to leave at the same time. After a walk of 20 minutes to the bus stop, Weili and I were overwhelmed by the sheer number of people there. It is near impossible to board a bus.

We were along the road, waiting, somewhere in the middle of the "queue" (there wasn't one, but if you count the people at the front of the bus stop, then they are supposed to be first to board coz they arrived first).

The first bus arrived and took up passengers from the front.

Next was a company bus, and an army truck.

Second, third, fourth and fifth bus arrived and stopped behind my segment of the road.

The people who arrived the latest gleefully boarded the buses, making the people in my segment, the middle segment where the company bus stopped, very annoyed indeed.


More angry people

They started to shout at the policemen with vulgarities and so on, and Singapore became JB can? (JB bus queues are also like that) I thought we are a quiet, tolerant nation?

The whole crowd started to push backwards and Weili and I were about to fall down... Out of survival instinct, I shouted, "Don't push me, I AM PREGNANT!" and immediately the pushing ceased. A bit paiseh. The auntie in front turned back and smiled at me while I smiled back sheepishly.

An army personnel there told Weili and I (who was having feet blisters already from all the walking), that the MRT station is merely 15 minutes away, and advised us to walk.

Another army guy said it is only five minutes to the MRT if we WALK SLOWLY.

IF YOU ARE THAT CB KIA YOU DON'T LET ME SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE AGAIN I SWEAR I WILL SLAP YOU WITH A PIECE OF HOT CHARSIEW YOU CB.

It was a FORTY MINUTES WALK AT BEST OK! AND MY FEET HAD ON HEELS AND BLISTERS (had to go to Zouk later)! !!

How DARE that fucker lie to us to make us leave the bus stop? At least 15 minutes is not that bad a lie, but 5 minutes? HE GOT SPEEDBOOTS AH, or is he SONIC?

I really wanna strangle him with his national flag I tell you. And in case you do go to Marina Bay, bring a skate-scooter, do not believe these LYING BASTARDS IN THE RED SINGAPORE TEES, and do not purchase Cod-fish otahs.

Never again.


Only the fittest athletes made it to the MRT. The rest ... Well, rest in peace, we know you tried...

We finally got out of Marina Bay (we reached City Hall at 9.40pm and we left the stadium at 8.05pm) and had good food at Cafe Cartel!


Weili is examining what tissue is made of


With flash


Without flash

Good hair day!

Blind dates on Class 95

YAZ (the DJ) IS SO CUTE! I am so totally in love with her; it has been such a long time since I last spoke to a funny girl! Maybe tmr I will sabo her by facing the webcam towards her, hehe...

Meanwhile, did you hear me on radio last night? It was very fun! I like all 3 guys, and I am frankly in a dilemma as to who to eliminate.

Suitor 1 a policeman, suitor 2 a student who is going to Stamford Stanford to get his masters soon, and suitor 3 is a designer! (IF I AM NOT WRONG)[So paiseh, I spelt Stanford wrongly, now I totally sound like a fucking bimbo!]

All of them sound cute!

I have to go back to the show again tomorrow night, at 10pm. I also have to think of a set of questions to ask them... Like, if you and me drop into the sea who will your mother save ... that kinda questions lah!

I think I came up with lousy questions! I asked the policeman if a motorcyclist gets decapitated who will dig his head out of the helmet and the policeman (his name is Sam!) said it is the undertaker. Cheh! I always thought it was the brave policemen!

So, help me think of questions ok? Must!!

How do I sound? Stop saying I sound demure lah! I am demure what, cheh.

p/s: I feel weird that guys are serenading me with songs on air, and actually saying I am cute and all... I think the last time that happened was before I started the blog, in secondary school. After writing here for so long, I get so accustomed to reading bad stuff like xiaxue is fat/stupid/flaccid etc, and I have already forgotten that there are bound to be guys who find me ... well, desirable.

That's quite saddening, isn't it?

And afterall, I am the buddy-buddy kinda girl, and not the shu nu sort. I constantly fish for compliments (in a joking manner), and as Yaz agrees, when I really get them, I squirm in my seat and blush rather a lot (also smiling lah of course). I am in a loss for words, and I cannot even have a witty comeback. I am reduced to become one of those flighty nitwits girls I've always disliked.

I suppose, to a certain extent, these guys have brought up the venerable, need-to-be-loved me that has been dormant for so long while I stubbornly put up this strong, egoisitic front to face detractors --- and that is a really nice change, once in a while.

I have really forgotten how it's like to be in love. Not the sort where I have crazy crush over a cute guy. Not the sort where there is only lust. The sort where the guy will actually be there for you when you are down, supportive and sweet, and well, the hollow in his shoulder is just the right fit for your head to snuggle in. =)

SO MUSHY AH! Now think of questions for me to ask!

Of luxurious things and old-school neoprints

Just a short photolog! Ok, maybe not that short la... Tonight I will be going to MediaCorp's Class 95 radio station! Have you already sabo-ed your handsome friend to join? GOOD! Must listen ok, later at 10pm with Yasmine! Don't you just love enthusiastic DJs? I DO!

So anyway, last Sunday Xiao Yu, Wong and I went over to Shengrong's place. That bugger, affectionally known as Nancy Natheneh Ng Abishikenathan in secondary school, asked us over to play mahjong.

We all agreed coz we like Auntie Betty, SR's dad's sister who is superb-ly funny, though a lousy mahjong player.

As everyone already knows, all the rich boys go to schools like ACS, RI (for the smarter kids), or VS or Maris Stella or I don't know lah, those boys' schools. Cock chinese schools like RV only has sincerely hardworking and smart kids coming from middle-class families. Damn I wish I went into ACS. Shengrong, for some weird reason, came to RV, and thus becoming the first rich friend that I had.

It may seem like a normal expensive house along Orchard road, but ...



GAH!

WHAT IS THAT THING? Along the big porch we see it lying down innocently, trying to act like it is not rich...




WAH! It is a luxurious back-scratcher!!!

The rest of us have to be content with our fingernails or cheap cane back-scratchers, but the wealthy indulge and have the best of everything!



HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING AS LUXURIOUS? Its expensive plastic pretending to be marble, the tips of the artificial fingers modelled to perfection, its golden joint sparkling, and its fine pinewood sand-papered, buffed and triple-glossed.

A BACK-SCRATCHER FIT ONLY FOR ROYALTY!



Xiao yu took a scratch and immediately had two orgasms.


After she finished scratching she realised that she was severely bitten on the small of her back.

To her mighty dismay, she found out the luxurious back-scratcher belongs to Congee, Sr's tri-coloured border collie.



Congee is shooting laser rays at Xiaoyu.

As for SR's family, whenever their backs are itchy they fly international supermodels over to help scratch. A luxurious back-scratcher is only fit for the family pooch!

We proceeded to play mahjong (after hearing Auntie Betty play Chun Feng Wen Sheng Wo De Face on piano).

Speaking of mahjong, how come so many people have trouble counting ah? I have come up with an amazing formula to do it in a jiffy!

Say the dice add up to 13.

Now take 13, and minus the largest multiple of the number of players. This, if you are playing with the usual 4 people, would be 12 right?

13 minus 12 = 1

Thus we take the tiles from the first person (aka the zhuang).

If it is 8, we take 8 minus 8 = nothing. When it is equals to nothing, it means it is the fourth person. And of course, left 3 means 3rd, left 2 means 2nd.

If you are playing 3 person mahjong, and the dice shows 11...

You take 11 minus the biggest multiple of 3 (players), which is 9. Answer is 2, so tile taking will be from the second player's tiles!

There! No more pointless counting during mahjong! Smart not? I thought of the formula myself ok!

The guest room had...

A nice antique bed:


And a nice matching dressing table:



To my shock, also got...



Matching dustbin! Wahahhaa...

Speaking of disgustingly rich people, I am supremely disappointed with Kelvin. Try as I might to convince him, he is not going to build a swimming pool in his new house. WHAT? Country clubs are sufficient? WHAT NONSENSE! In any case, I told Kelvin that I will no longer be satisfied with a mere lap pool.

Those are for the superficially rich! When you are really rich, what is a stupid lap pool? IT IS NOTHING! *snaps fingers in a cocky manner*

Thus I suggest to Kelvin that to win all the average very rich people, he should build an articial beach at his backyard. Don't you think that is super cool? He can then invite skimpily-clad girls to come over to his place (but beware of sharks girls!) and even charge strangers for using his beach!

Kelvin laughed and said simple him just wanted a Ferrari. HMPF! I look you no up Kelvin! We must all have ambitions! What is a FERRARI? IT IS NOTHING! *snaps fingers in an angry manner* To join the ferrari club in Singapore means you are one in ... hundreds. That makes you a common, lowly member of the rich people!! AMBITIONS KELVIN, AMBITIONS!

I suggested that he use the money to get a (snigger) ferrari to buy a Starbucks franchise, to be build in the porch and near to the west coast of the artificial beach.

Then he can be like, "Let's go chill somewhere!" and when his friends go like, "Ok lor, where?", he can be like, "The starbucks at my place lah!"

Caramel Frappuchino please!

What's a half basketball court? Or lap pools? I say, build an artifical beach and have your own starbucks. If you still have excess cash, you build a racing track around the house where mad horses will canker to death anyone who dares trespass.

Where were we? Oh yes, mahjong! I had enough of playing with lousy players like Shengrong, so I decided to roll on the giant guest bed while singing irritating songs.

After rolling round for a bit, my nose knocked into a happy-looking yellow box.



Without thinking much, I decided to kaypoh and open the box coz it looked so happy.



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GAH!!! It is disgusting Xiaoyu's retainers!!!

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I OPENED IT!!! I accidentally touched a corner!



Eeeeee!! You like to touch Xiaoyu's retainers!



Xiao yu is very appalled by SR and me laughing her retainers because she just got them that morning and within a few hours it got severely laughed at.

We had a sumptuous dinner after that, courtesy of SR's dad.

For dessert, SR showed us the impossible:

It is said to be impossible to lick your own elbow...



Disgusting Shengrong can do it! Omg... FREAK!!


****************

I was with Huifen at Jurong Entertainment, when we saw sibeh old-school neoprint machines!

You know how we always only see lovegetys or those super big jap neoprint machines right? Well, we found its ancestor still around!



NEOOOOO Print! Hart chee zhi!



Choosing from the set of old-school frames... I used to collect neoprints when I was in secondary school, and I had like 500 of them at my peak.



The irritating purple-haired girl with the ringing voice!

The results was so bad that it turned out super blur on my camera, so no photo of it...

We tried out the other old-school neo print machine instead!



Can draw one!



Huijuan (Huifen's sister) helped us snap shots!





Nice hor this photo! I love the lighting leh!

In any case, we had to draw things onto the neoprint. I decided to put a pair of horns on Huifen's head, but the horns were so big and far apart, they can fit both our head inside!

I tried to erase the horns and I managed to erase Huifen's side, when I accidentally pressed PRINT PHOTO.

-_-



Thus, behold ...









Xie xie.


Huifen is angry because she wants some horns too.


Da mei nus!

On a totally unrelated note, here are some photos that were taken by good cameras during the bloggercon... =)




And if you are one of those guys going on blind date tonight, can buy me this?



WAH LAU! I confirm choose you can, if you buy for me? I am so thoroughly smitten by it! Do you know, this limited edition lady's Vertu, has a HOT PINK croc skin stripe at the side? Do you also know, that its screen and lights are PINK?

Fuck, just kill me, I want it so much! But $8,000! Who want to buy for me?