Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Monday, September 15, 2003
These past few days I have been speaking to my resident spammer on IRC. If you guys insist on knowing the reason why I want to discontinue blogging...
Heres one big one: www.xiaxue2.blogspot.com
In case the format of the site has been changed, I think I would just tell you wat was there. Its an exact mirror of my site, except the picture of me was changed to a stupid staring monkey. A big picture. And my friends' and family's pictures were changed to some stupid characters as well. The site is called "The World Thru' My Nostrils". My entries are plagarised and some words are changed. Changed such that I sound like a slut who masterbates with cucumbers whole day long.
There. I put in so much effort into blogging because I thought people enjoyed my writings, but I am wrong. People only want to laugh at me. Laugh at how idiotic I am. The amount of hard work I put into my writings are easily copied and then edited. What can I do about it? Can I sue the fellow who infringed on my copyrights? I have no money you know. Can I request for blogspot to cancel this address? I can't either.
You guys may claim that I am stupid and silly to bother about these spammers, but you all wouldnt understand how helpless, and how disappointed I am.
To think my site sucked so much that people actually put in so much effort to delibrately harm me.
Anyway, the spammer said that he and his friends read my site just to see how stupid I can get tomorrow. Or how bimbotic. Or how full of myself.
Suddenly, I have a startling thought. What if... What if thats what the majority of you think too? What if everybody reads my blog coz I am such an idiotic person? I have done nothing except to write out my thoughts. Stupid thoughts, of course. Yes, I may even put up stupid pictures of my good hair days which only horny guys are interested in. SO? Its my freedom to do that isnt it? And if you don't like the idea, why stay reading everyday? Why must u people abuse me this way?
Why? Why should I subject myself to such mockery? Why should I allow you people to be so happy over my misery?
You spammers want me to stop writing? I will. I will even close down the site. Happy now? Or should I leave the site here just for your abusing pleasure? But whats the point? No readers will come anymore after I stop writing. You will be spamming for no one to see.
And I'm really sorry to those people who enjoyed my blog. The spammers are right. I suck. Go read some other blog right now k? Or perhaps, if you insist my writings are good, you could curse the spammers to eternal hell, coz it is their inconsiderate and cruel behaviour that made the world lose a good writer.
Heres one big one: www.xiaxue2.blogspot.com
In case the format of the site has been changed, I think I would just tell you wat was there. Its an exact mirror of my site, except the picture of me was changed to a stupid staring monkey. A big picture. And my friends' and family's pictures were changed to some stupid characters as well. The site is called "The World Thru' My Nostrils". My entries are plagarised and some words are changed. Changed such that I sound like a slut who masterbates with cucumbers whole day long.
There. I put in so much effort into blogging because I thought people enjoyed my writings, but I am wrong. People only want to laugh at me. Laugh at how idiotic I am. The amount of hard work I put into my writings are easily copied and then edited. What can I do about it? Can I sue the fellow who infringed on my copyrights? I have no money you know. Can I request for blogspot to cancel this address? I can't either.
You guys may claim that I am stupid and silly to bother about these spammers, but you all wouldnt understand how helpless, and how disappointed I am.
To think my site sucked so much that people actually put in so much effort to delibrately harm me.
Anyway, the spammer said that he and his friends read my site just to see how stupid I can get tomorrow. Or how bimbotic. Or how full of myself.
Suddenly, I have a startling thought. What if... What if thats what the majority of you think too? What if everybody reads my blog coz I am such an idiotic person? I have done nothing except to write out my thoughts. Stupid thoughts, of course. Yes, I may even put up stupid pictures of my good hair days which only horny guys are interested in. SO? Its my freedom to do that isnt it? And if you don't like the idea, why stay reading everyday? Why must u people abuse me this way?
Why? Why should I subject myself to such mockery? Why should I allow you people to be so happy over my misery?
You spammers want me to stop writing? I will. I will even close down the site. Happy now? Or should I leave the site here just for your abusing pleasure? But whats the point? No readers will come anymore after I stop writing. You will be spamming for no one to see.
And I'm really sorry to those people who enjoyed my blog. The spammers are right. I suck. Go read some other blog right now k? Or perhaps, if you insist my writings are good, you could curse the spammers to eternal hell, coz it is their inconsiderate and cruel behaviour that made the world lose a good writer.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Look.
What is a blog?
Why do you even READ blogs?
Because the WRITINGS are interesting right?
Not because you just want to see photos.
So. My point is, stop saying I am ugly. So what if I am? Who cares? The point of my blog is not to show you pretty pictures. Remember, you should be here for the writing, not the pictures. I have never said I am beautiful in the first place. And even IF i think I am beautiful, am I not entitled to my own opinion? Who are YOU to judge whether I am pretty? When was the last time you had your eyes checked anyway?
Thats not the point of course. The point is that if you are here in my site just to see pretty June or Goddess XF or sexy Eileen, please fuck off. You should be here for the writing, so stop being so bloody superficial (and stupid).
On a last note, I am removing the tagboard coz the fucking spammer is still there.
How cool! To prove my success, I have my own resident spammer. Remember, spammer, support me always yeah? Don't you dare spam other sites! Only mine!
Yup, and my spammer asked me whether I need his help to boost visitors as my site's traffic is going down recently.
That would be due to the fact that I blog less often nowadays of course.
For your info, spammer, I am DELIGHTED that the traffic is down.
I am sick of being too darn publisized. Every other day someone says he/she saw me in public, and thats freaking scary. I feel stressed. And here I am, openly writing bad stuff about people. And some of these people have seen my site.
It includes Androgenous Aaron, and I hope he understands that the site was done when he and I were having a big quarrel, thus the negativity. Our friendship is going fine now though, thanks to his graciousness *smiles*.
As for Grouchy Gwenne, I'm sure she would find out about the site soon enough. I dun give a shit about her opinion though.
I'll be blogging later at night. To those we truely enjoy my site, I thank you for all your support. I love you all. Seriously. Without you guys I would have stopped blogging a long time ago (when the spammers were more cruel).
And why, why doesnt Jeremy love me?? Boohoohoo. I'm doing a powerpoint thingy for him though... If you wanna see it, perhaps go to my irc channel and I will send it?
See ya all later.
What is a blog?
Why do you even READ blogs?
Because the WRITINGS are interesting right?
Not because you just want to see photos.
So. My point is, stop saying I am ugly. So what if I am? Who cares? The point of my blog is not to show you pretty pictures. Remember, you should be here for the writing, not the pictures. I have never said I am beautiful in the first place. And even IF i think I am beautiful, am I not entitled to my own opinion? Who are YOU to judge whether I am pretty? When was the last time you had your eyes checked anyway?
Thats not the point of course. The point is that if you are here in my site just to see pretty June or Goddess XF or sexy Eileen, please fuck off. You should be here for the writing, so stop being so bloody superficial (and stupid).
On a last note, I am removing the tagboard coz the fucking spammer is still there.
How cool! To prove my success, I have my own resident spammer. Remember, spammer, support me always yeah? Don't you dare spam other sites! Only mine!
Yup, and my spammer asked me whether I need his help to boost visitors as my site's traffic is going down recently.
That would be due to the fact that I blog less often nowadays of course.
For your info, spammer, I am DELIGHTED that the traffic is down.
I am sick of being too darn publisized. Every other day someone says he/she saw me in public, and thats freaking scary. I feel stressed. And here I am, openly writing bad stuff about people. And some of these people have seen my site.
It includes Androgenous Aaron, and I hope he understands that the site was done when he and I were having a big quarrel, thus the negativity. Our friendship is going fine now though, thanks to his graciousness *smiles*.
As for Grouchy Gwenne, I'm sure she would find out about the site soon enough. I dun give a shit about her opinion though.
I'll be blogging later at night. To those we truely enjoy my site, I thank you for all your support. I love you all. Seriously. Without you guys I would have stopped blogging a long time ago (when the spammers were more cruel).
And why, why doesnt Jeremy love me?? Boohoohoo. I'm doing a powerpoint thingy for him though... If you wanna see it, perhaps go to my irc channel and I will send it?
See ya all later.
Saturday, September 6, 2003
Here are pictures of my new highlight job! It sucks big time.
This is me, before they destroyed my life. Girls beside me are coursemates, but my guess is no one is interested who they are. I only met they there coincidentally.
Thats me after they destroyed my life. Its my back view coz my face looks so grouchy, I'm afraid someone would take my pic to be the scary ghost pic your get in your email. I hate those mails. Tells you to find the difference in two pictures or something and when u are concentrating so hard, a ghost face appears and refuses to go off your screen.
The highlights are supposed to be ash brown, but it turns out GOLD. I will not be surprised if within the next three days I get beaten up thrice and asked to join a gang.
The highlights are too damn THICK.
Haiz...
On a happier note, I keep meeting Eileen nowadays.
The girl beside me is Xiuling, Eileen's best friend.
She just showed me two very interesting lovegetys.
"Huh, whats wrong leh?", you ask.
Ok, first, the guy in both prints is the same person.
And then look at the dates.
Alvin (the same guy who brought me Nigel *refer to previous entry) is Xiuling's bf. He was with her for more than 2 years.
He is also stupid.
One fine day, Xiuling read some msg about how some girl (who named herself Kitty) misses Alvin and stuff. I forgot exactly how, but I think Xiuling stole her number and called the girl's home, and started to talk to the girl's mum.
The girl's mum confirmed that her daughter was attached to Alvin currently, and sent Xiuling a scanned version of the lovegety the adulterous couple took. How sweetly scandalous.
Xiuling arranged to meet up with the girl and gave her all sorts of evidence that she and Alvin was an item when he was with her, so obviously that night the girl got very angry with Alvin and started to make a big fuss.
Alvin got very angry with Xiuling, and guess what he said?
Something like: "I am really in love with her. I love her more than I would ever love you. Can you please allow us to be together? Please, tell her that you have been lying to her. Tell her that you are actually just a crazy person cooking up stories about us being together. Tell her you are actually the third party!"
Of course Xiuling plain refused to help him (duh! How ridiculous can a person get) but anyway, it seems like "Kitty" the Naive believed his bullshit coz they still got together or something.
Xiuling found THREE empty condom wrappers in his wallet.
You guys know what I am gonna say right? Kitty is fucking ugly and I dun understand how he can actually shag her. Xiuling said that Kitty looks actually pretty in the lovegety. She is uglier in real life. Ah well, at least she managed to convince Atrocious Alvin to leave Xiuling for her. Not bad, I say.
Back to less scandalous topics.
The Aftermath
Lets see what happened to the three guys who came to ask for my number.
1) Eric
Poor Eric happens to have a private line. Now that fact is particularly saddening for him because Jem has a private line as well.
As it is, I am already irritated whenever he calls, just because its him.
To add cyanide to the poison, I am double irritated coz everytime I would think its Jeremy calling me and I would be so disappointed it is him.
3 times he called with me sounding damn happy at first and then suddenly have the passion of a slug when I hear his whiny voice instead of Jeremy's deep one.
On the 3rd time, I cruelly told him that I always thought it was the guy whom I like that called me whenever he calls.
"Oh, like that ah. Then I wouldn't call you ever again lor."
"Huh siao, why." *Whoops and hops around in joy*
"Coz you got someone that you liked already what."
"You are damn superficial lor! You mean I like someone then u cannot contact me liao meh? Cannot just be friends ah? Must be together one meh?"
"But I like you what..."
"Siao you didnt even talk to me for more than an hour, how can u conclude that you like me?"
*irrelevance alert* "Hiyah next time I dun call you liao lar."
"Fine." *slams the phone*
Good riddence, Eric the Greasy Mechanic.
2) Henry
After me not replying his second sms which asked me whether I have a bf and whether I go clubbing, Mr Henry very cleverly bombarded me with "Are you there?"s
At least 3 "are you there?"s I ignored.
Now, how are you supposed to answer that question? Its a stupid, stupid thing to ask people, coz if they can see it, they would surely (if they bothered), have replied. If they are "not there", they cannot see it anyway.
Wheres the "there" you are referring to anyway? Beside my phone? What the.
I didnt reply and he stopped msging me for one day, and suddenly I received this msg:
Kan.
Ni.
Na.
Must be an IRC PERVERT!
*shudders*
3) James
Yet another James, but this one can't be more different from the James whose site is in my links.
His first message turned me off immediately and I did not reply after that.
Wah lau, why do I keep attracting stupid people!
TELL ME!!!!!!! WHY??? WHY ME??? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!!! I HATE STUPID PEOPLE! WILL THEY STOP BOTHERING ME!!! URRRGHHH!!
I am so irritated.
I'm irritated by something else.
Everybody keeps asking me for my height.
Look, its personal k. Yes, I'm short. Extremely short. SO? If you see a girl with extreme big boobs you dun go ask her for her cup size. You see a wrinkled old man who looks like he came in the same boat as Sang Nila Utama but you dun go up to him and say, "God you look like you came in the same boat as Sang Nila Utama! How old, I mean, ancient are you exactly?"
No, you don't do that. So its rude to ask me for my height.
I have thought of the perfect response when guys ask me for my height.
"Woah, you sure are short!"
"Yeah, I noticed it for a lots of years. I was hoping you won't have noticed though, how queer that u did. Is it very obvious? Oh gosh I think I feel sad."
"How short are you exactly?"
"I'm not saying."
"Come on...."
"Tell me your penis size and I will tell you my height."
With this sentence, there could be two responses.
RESPONSE ONE:
"Siao, my penis size is personal lar crazy."
"So is my height."
"Well, penis cannot see but height can see mah."
"If you can see it why still want to ask about it? Can't you judge yourself?"
"Wah lau. I guess 132cm. Correct?"
"You may guess all you want, but you will never have the pleasure of knowing you are correct."
"Okok. But how I know my penis size, I never go measure la... You think I pervert."
"I never measure my height also. It depresses me. Lets drop the topic, or I shall cry."
"...."
RESPONSE TWO:
"My penis size is 21 cm the last time I measured. It is actually the width of an A4 size paper."
"Yeah ok my height is 1.78m."
"Wah lau. My penis really 21 cm lar... U think I fake you meh..."
"I never fake you also. Its just that, like you, I have vivid imaginations."
"...."
*****
OK what about when GIRLS ask me for my height?
"hey what your height?"
"Haha.. Oh yeah! I wanted to show you! I like this guy called Jeremy right, and he worked with me at Singtel shop that time... He damn cute you know! I got his pic in my phone, you wanna see?
"Oh really! How old is he?"
"Blah blah"
Yup, I think I am quite capable of protecting myself from ever being forced to reveal my height again.
This is me, before they destroyed my life. Girls beside me are coursemates, but my guess is no one is interested who they are. I only met they there coincidentally.
Thats me after they destroyed my life. Its my back view coz my face looks so grouchy, I'm afraid someone would take my pic to be the scary ghost pic your get in your email. I hate those mails. Tells you to find the difference in two pictures or something and when u are concentrating so hard, a ghost face appears and refuses to go off your screen.
The highlights are supposed to be ash brown, but it turns out GOLD. I will not be surprised if within the next three days I get beaten up thrice and asked to join a gang.
The highlights are too damn THICK.
Haiz...
On a happier note, I keep meeting Eileen nowadays.
The girl beside me is Xiuling, Eileen's best friend.
She just showed me two very interesting lovegetys.
"Huh, whats wrong leh?", you ask.
Ok, first, the guy in both prints is the same person.
And then look at the dates.
Alvin (the same guy who brought me Nigel *refer to previous entry) is Xiuling's bf. He was with her for more than 2 years.
He is also stupid.
One fine day, Xiuling read some msg about how some girl (who named herself Kitty) misses Alvin and stuff. I forgot exactly how, but I think Xiuling stole her number and called the girl's home, and started to talk to the girl's mum.
The girl's mum confirmed that her daughter was attached to Alvin currently, and sent Xiuling a scanned version of the lovegety the adulterous couple took. How sweetly scandalous.
Xiuling arranged to meet up with the girl and gave her all sorts of evidence that she and Alvin was an item when he was with her, so obviously that night the girl got very angry with Alvin and started to make a big fuss.
Alvin got very angry with Xiuling, and guess what he said?
Something like: "I am really in love with her. I love her more than I would ever love you. Can you please allow us to be together? Please, tell her that you have been lying to her. Tell her that you are actually just a crazy person cooking up stories about us being together. Tell her you are actually the third party!"
Of course Xiuling plain refused to help him (duh! How ridiculous can a person get) but anyway, it seems like "Kitty" the Naive believed his bullshit coz they still got together or something.
Xiuling found THREE empty condom wrappers in his wallet.
You guys know what I am gonna say right? Kitty is fucking ugly and I dun understand how he can actually shag her. Xiuling said that Kitty looks actually pretty in the lovegety. She is uglier in real life. Ah well, at least she managed to convince Atrocious Alvin to leave Xiuling for her. Not bad, I say.
Back to less scandalous topics.
The Aftermath
Lets see what happened to the three guys who came to ask for my number.
1) Eric
Poor Eric happens to have a private line. Now that fact is particularly saddening for him because Jem has a private line as well.
As it is, I am already irritated whenever he calls, just because its him.
To add cyanide to the poison, I am double irritated coz everytime I would think its Jeremy calling me and I would be so disappointed it is him.
3 times he called with me sounding damn happy at first and then suddenly have the passion of a slug when I hear his whiny voice instead of Jeremy's deep one.
On the 3rd time, I cruelly told him that I always thought it was the guy whom I like that called me whenever he calls.
"Oh, like that ah. Then I wouldn't call you ever again lor."
"Huh siao, why." *Whoops and hops around in joy*
"Coz you got someone that you liked already what."
"You are damn superficial lor! You mean I like someone then u cannot contact me liao meh? Cannot just be friends ah? Must be together one meh?"
"But I like you what..."
"Siao you didnt even talk to me for more than an hour, how can u conclude that you like me?"
*irrelevance alert* "Hiyah next time I dun call you liao lar."
"Fine." *slams the phone*
Good riddence, Eric the Greasy Mechanic.
2) Henry
After me not replying his second sms which asked me whether I have a bf and whether I go clubbing, Mr Henry very cleverly bombarded me with "Are you there?"s
At least 3 "are you there?"s I ignored.
Now, how are you supposed to answer that question? Its a stupid, stupid thing to ask people, coz if they can see it, they would surely (if they bothered), have replied. If they are "not there", they cannot see it anyway.
Wheres the "there" you are referring to anyway? Beside my phone? What the.
I didnt reply and he stopped msging me for one day, and suddenly I received this msg:
"Are you going clubbing tonight? Are you open-minded?"
Kan.
Ni.
Na.
Must be an IRC PERVERT!
*shudders*
3) James
Yet another James, but this one can't be more different from the James whose site is in my links.
His first message turned me off immediately and I did not reply after that.
Hi windy, I am james and this is my number."
Wah lau, why do I keep attracting stupid people!
TELL ME!!!!!!! WHY??? WHY ME??? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!!! I HATE STUPID PEOPLE! WILL THEY STOP BOTHERING ME!!! URRRGHHH!!
I am so irritated.
I'm irritated by something else.
Everybody keeps asking me for my height.
Look, its personal k. Yes, I'm short. Extremely short. SO? If you see a girl with extreme big boobs you dun go ask her for her cup size. You see a wrinkled old man who looks like he came in the same boat as Sang Nila Utama but you dun go up to him and say, "God you look like you came in the same boat as Sang Nila Utama! How old, I mean, ancient are you exactly?"
No, you don't do that. So its rude to ask me for my height.
I have thought of the perfect response when guys ask me for my height.
"Woah, you sure are short!"
"Yeah, I noticed it for a lots of years. I was hoping you won't have noticed though, how queer that u did. Is it very obvious? Oh gosh I think I feel sad."
"How short are you exactly?"
"I'm not saying."
"Come on...."
"Tell me your penis size and I will tell you my height."
With this sentence, there could be two responses.
RESPONSE ONE:
"Siao, my penis size is personal lar crazy."
"So is my height."
"Well, penis cannot see but height can see mah."
"If you can see it why still want to ask about it? Can't you judge yourself?"
"Wah lau. I guess 132cm. Correct?"
"You may guess all you want, but you will never have the pleasure of knowing you are correct."
"Okok. But how I know my penis size, I never go measure la... You think I pervert."
"I never measure my height also. It depresses me. Lets drop the topic, or I shall cry."
"...."
RESPONSE TWO:
"My penis size is 21 cm the last time I measured. It is actually the width of an A4 size paper."
"Yeah ok my height is 1.78m."
"Wah lau. My penis really 21 cm lar... U think I fake you meh..."
"I never fake you also. Its just that, like you, I have vivid imaginations."
"...."
*****
OK what about when GIRLS ask me for my height?
"hey what your height?"
"Haha.. Oh yeah! I wanted to show you! I like this guy called Jeremy right, and he worked with me at Singtel shop that time... He damn cute you know! I got his pic in my phone, you wanna see?
"Oh really! How old is he?"
"Blah blah"
Yup, I think I am quite capable of protecting myself from ever being forced to reveal my height again.
Friday, September 5, 2003
I heard this song on radio...
How do I
Get through one night without you
Lets see, how was it that you got through the the nights before you met him? Maybe, DO THE SAME?
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
A very normal life? Was your life THAT bad before you met him? Gosh.
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
Its not a need, its a WANT, horny bitch.
If you ever leave Baby
you would take away everything good in my Life.
Are u claiming that your friends and family are not good things at all? How about massages and pasta and rainbows? Aren't they good things? Must good things always come with a penis?
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
Breathe, eat, sleep and shit, honey. Like you once lived without him.
How do I breathe without you
I have never thought someone would need instructions on breathing. Ok you sort of suck the air through your nostrils, and feel it go into your lungs. Feel the oxygen! Yup, thats how you go about breathing. Anyway, you must be doing it right coz you are not dead yet.
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live?
Duh. Your mum had sex with your dad for you to come to this earth and your only motive in life is to mope over some jerk. Oh, I rejoice in how much you contribute to this world.
Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
To the contrary! You might wanna come to stay in Singapore.
There would be no love in my life
What do you call that thing your mum constantly has for you? Lets guess.
Unconditional _ _ _ _.
Hint: It starts with L and ends with OVE.
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
Women who only live for men are fucking losers.
I'd be lost if I lost you
Why leh, you not in forest what. He is not your tour guide right? Find your own way out of the mucky mess you have made out of youself.
If you ever leave Baby
you would take away everything real in My life
I'm sorry to say this, but lotsa things are still real without him. Like poverty for example. Or the fact that you are pathetic. Its all REAL. Your "love" for him, however, seems deluded.
Yup, thats right. I cannot, like the rest of these pathetic women, let a mere man control my life. They are afterall, just MEN.
I am gonna be happy and remain happy even if Jeremy spits on my face. I promise I will try not to cry.
I'm a strong girl. This too, will pass.
(Although actually me and Jem are going fine, but just AS FRIENDS. Nothing else.)
How do I
Get through one night without you
Lets see, how was it that you got through the the nights before you met him? Maybe, DO THE SAME?
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
A very normal life? Was your life THAT bad before you met him? Gosh.
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
Its not a need, its a WANT, horny bitch.
If you ever leave Baby
you would take away everything good in my Life.
Are u claiming that your friends and family are not good things at all? How about massages and pasta and rainbows? Aren't they good things? Must good things always come with a penis?
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
Breathe, eat, sleep and shit, honey. Like you once lived without him.
How do I breathe without you
I have never thought someone would need instructions on breathing. Ok you sort of suck the air through your nostrils, and feel it go into your lungs. Feel the oxygen! Yup, thats how you go about breathing. Anyway, you must be doing it right coz you are not dead yet.
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live?
Duh. Your mum had sex with your dad for you to come to this earth and your only motive in life is to mope over some jerk. Oh, I rejoice in how much you contribute to this world.
Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
To the contrary! You might wanna come to stay in Singapore.
There would be no love in my life
What do you call that thing your mum constantly has for you? Lets guess.
Unconditional _ _ _ _.
Hint: It starts with L and ends with OVE.
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
Women who only live for men are fucking losers.
I'd be lost if I lost you
Why leh, you not in forest what. He is not your tour guide right? Find your own way out of the mucky mess you have made out of youself.
If you ever leave Baby
you would take away everything real in My life
I'm sorry to say this, but lotsa things are still real without him. Like poverty for example. Or the fact that you are pathetic. Its all REAL. Your "love" for him, however, seems deluded.
Yup, thats right. I cannot, like the rest of these pathetic women, let a mere man control my life. They are afterall, just MEN.
I am gonna be happy and remain happy even if Jeremy spits on my face. I promise I will try not to cry.
I'm a strong girl. This too, will pass.
(Although actually me and Jem are going fine, but just AS FRIENDS. Nothing else.)
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
Today the most amazing thing happened. Of course, everyone of you will "chey!" when u all find out how silly the amazing thing is, but to me, it is still very amazing.
Remember in yesterday's entry I mentioned that when a guy comes, ALL the guys comes? It is so goddamn true.
I was rushing to work this afternoon, and was walking along Marina Square rather hurriedly.
In the meantime, I was sms-ing Jeremy.
Me: I think I know why you dun like me already. Its because u have venstraphobia. I think you should see a doctor.
Jem: Whats that!
Me: Its a phobia for beautiful women.
Jem: Ha, I was about to check the dictionary but my legs just won't listen.
Me: Huh, you are supposed to be a soccer player you know! I'm off to work already, come crash the wedding and I will serve you good food.
Jem: Banquet food sounds great but I'm going to Devil's bar tonight with my friends...
Me: Clubbing again? Good, more competition to show you how good I am. I hope some pimply teenager comes and molest u tonight.
Jem: Then I shall kick the teenager with my soccer legs. :-)
I was reading the last msg and smiling to myself, when I noticed irritably that there was someone walking behind me, about to catch up with me. I guess its a natural reaction, but my body told me to speed up so that the person would not overtake me and be faster than me.
I walked bigger strides thinking of a nice response to Jem's msg. Suddenly, the fellow said "hi!".
The problem with some people is their earpieces. It is permanently struck in their ears, and you will never know if they are talking to you, or talking to someone on the phone, or scolding you and pretending to be talking on the phone.
But the fellow was looking straight at me.
I made a gesture to point at myself to ask him if he was talking to me.
He nodded.
And instead of asking me whether I am interested to sign up for a credit card, he asked for my number.
Still convinced he is gonna ask me to sign up for a credit card, I asked, "For what?"
He trembled slightly and said he wanted to be friends.
Now I have a problem with superficial people. Be friends? Why choose to be friends with me? Why not be friends with the auntie sweeping the floor? She seems nice... Why not be friends with that balding man? Why me? Just because you think I look pleasant doesn't mean I will be a good friend to have.
On the other hand, he couldnt have said: "I just wanna try my luck and see if you can be my girlfriend, if not, I would like to fuck you." No. I wun have liked it if he said that either.
There is a very good reason these superficial people, including myself, can come up with.
Beauty is the only trait you can discover when you do not know a person. So when you ask for a good-looking person's number, at least the person would have fulfilled the looks criteria. Other criteria can wait till after you know the person. So its perfectly logical afterall.
But thats besides the point. He didn't look like he would appreciate (or understand) my preaching. PLUS, I am late, so I just gave him my sms number and left.
He is one of the most disgusting people I have seen.
His first sms was this:
I replied 19.
Fucking desperado. I did not reply after that.
However, I thought to myself: Wow, this is like the 2nd time in a week a guy comes to ask for my number! If by tonight another person asks for my number, it means I am considered universally cute!
And so, the banquet went on smoothly. Today I was placed at the VIP table, and guess what my colleague stole for me!
So cute right! Its Daikin's Dinner and Dance tonight and everywhere there was Pichonkun (that blue cartoon), including a giant mascot.
I took a bath after work, effectively making me late for catching the transport bus home. The bus leaves at 1230, and by 1225, the queue for getting the pay is still damn long. I started to panic a little, and rushed out to look for my colleague to ask her to tell the bus driver to wait for me.
Please keep in mind that by the end of the banquet my face is damn oily and make-up ruined. I stole many pieces of chicken to eat so my tummy was hanging out.
And someone really stopped me to ask me for my number.
He is really quite pleasant looking, so I gave it to him.
It turns out that he is one of the guys doing up the lights and such. Just now during the banquet when I was stealing chicken to eat and stuffing myself like theres no chicken left tomorrow, he saw me. He actually saw me not only being greedy and oily, but also in a shapeless black uniform, FLAT SHOES, and a stupid bun complete with hairnet.
And yet he is interested to know me.
I am amazed. Are these all Jem's friends who are testing if my liking for Jem stands strong? Perhaps. But Jeremy isn't so bo liao.
Lets have a test to see what has changed this few days.
1) New hair colour.
Thats me with a very placid smile. I did the colour at Toni and Guy acadamy and it sucks. The only part with colour is the top, and the ends are TOTALLY BLACK. My hair is utimately gross now.
I think I shall complain about the Toni and Guy thingy.
The hair dye-ing costs $35 at max, so you can do whatever you want; dye it pink, highlight three colours, whatever.
Firstly, the fellow told me to reach at 3pm at Heeren. I cannot be wrong coz when she told me the details, I immediately wrote it down in my palmtop. At 2:30, I received a call asking me why I am late and when can I reach Toni and Guy. I said that I thought it is 3pm, but since I am already at Orchard, I reassured them I will reach soon.
When I arrived at Heeren, the fellow told me it is my mistake and I should have been at the Clarke Quay outlet. How frustrating. I demanded to talk to the girl who told me where to go in the first place, but she insisted she couldnt have told me the information wrong. Nonetheless, she is rather polite and asked me to go to Clarke Quay and told me the bus to take.
When I arrived at the correct place, it was already 3pm. Everyone has started except the Indonesian student who was to do my hair for me. I apologized for making her wait (although it is not my fault).
The teacher came along and rushed me into choosing colours. I told her any colour is fine with me as long as it does not look red, no hint of red at all. She said it can be done and sashayed off.
"What about my highlights?" I exclaimed. I want my $35 to be fully utilised.
"There is no time for your highlights, mam."
"What do you mean no time!"
"How about this, we will let you do it the next time you come here, say at Wed?"
After this the student started to dye my hair. When she was done, she put me under this warmer thingy thats supposed to make the hair go into the hair faster.
Now this warmer thing hovers above your crown, so perhaps it would warm a normal guy's hair completely.
For my case however, the ends of my long hair is very very far away from the warmer.
"Like that the warmer would not warm my ends leh, wait the colour will be different", I told the student.
She actually had the nerve to chew her lip a little and say, "oh yeah hor...". Very cleverly, she turned her heel and left after saying this sentence, and did not do anything about it.
When I was done, the roots had plenty of colour but the ends are suddenly totally black.
I demanded to see the teacher immediately, but she was busy.
So I told the student to blow my hair into curls for me please.
She looked at me and actually had the nerve to say, "No time.". I gave her a very angry look, and then she said that she did not know how to blow curls.
The teacher arrived and I blew my top.
"Firstly, I already told you I dun want red. Is that very difficult to achieve? Can you explain to me why it is this colour? And, what happened to my ends! Why is it black? How can the ends be darker than the roots when obviously when I came in the ends were already blondish? And what kind of staff do you have here? Why does she not even know how to blow hair into curls?"
I made a big fuss and I was rewarded with a FREE dye job. The teacher said I can come back on weds (which is today actually) for more professional students to highlight for me, and if I am pleased, then I pay.
Ah well. It seems that overall the hair job is still good because the hair colour seems to have attracted a lot of guys. Besides that, since my hair was blown straight, I met Jem with straight hair and he commented that it looks nicer. Wonderful. Now I am considering whether I should go for the highlights tomorrow.
2) I am in love.
I am a woman in love!
I'm very tired again! I shall go sleep now... I know the blogging is incomplete and stuff, but heck. Nights all!
Remember in yesterday's entry I mentioned that when a guy comes, ALL the guys comes? It is so goddamn true.
I was rushing to work this afternoon, and was walking along Marina Square rather hurriedly.
In the meantime, I was sms-ing Jeremy.
Me: I think I know why you dun like me already. Its because u have venstraphobia. I think you should see a doctor.
Jem: Whats that!
Me: Its a phobia for beautiful women.
Jem: Ha, I was about to check the dictionary but my legs just won't listen.
Me: Huh, you are supposed to be a soccer player you know! I'm off to work already, come crash the wedding and I will serve you good food.
Jem: Banquet food sounds great but I'm going to Devil's bar tonight with my friends...
Me: Clubbing again? Good, more competition to show you how good I am. I hope some pimply teenager comes and molest u tonight.
Jem: Then I shall kick the teenager with my soccer legs. :-)
I was reading the last msg and smiling to myself, when I noticed irritably that there was someone walking behind me, about to catch up with me. I guess its a natural reaction, but my body told me to speed up so that the person would not overtake me and be faster than me.
I walked bigger strides thinking of a nice response to Jem's msg. Suddenly, the fellow said "hi!".
The problem with some people is their earpieces. It is permanently struck in their ears, and you will never know if they are talking to you, or talking to someone on the phone, or scolding you and pretending to be talking on the phone.
But the fellow was looking straight at me.
I made a gesture to point at myself to ask him if he was talking to me.
He nodded.
And instead of asking me whether I am interested to sign up for a credit card, he asked for my number.
Still convinced he is gonna ask me to sign up for a credit card, I asked, "For what?"
He trembled slightly and said he wanted to be friends.
Now I have a problem with superficial people. Be friends? Why choose to be friends with me? Why not be friends with the auntie sweeping the floor? She seems nice... Why not be friends with that balding man? Why me? Just because you think I look pleasant doesn't mean I will be a good friend to have.
On the other hand, he couldnt have said: "I just wanna try my luck and see if you can be my girlfriend, if not, I would like to fuck you." No. I wun have liked it if he said that either.
There is a very good reason these superficial people, including myself, can come up with.
Beauty is the only trait you can discover when you do not know a person. So when you ask for a good-looking person's number, at least the person would have fulfilled the looks criteria. Other criteria can wait till after you know the person. So its perfectly logical afterall.
But thats besides the point. He didn't look like he would appreciate (or understand) my preaching. PLUS, I am late, so I just gave him my sms number and left.
He is one of the most disgusting people I have seen.
His first sms was this:
What is your age?
I replied 19.
Got bf? Go clubbing?
Fucking desperado. I did not reply after that.
However, I thought to myself: Wow, this is like the 2nd time in a week a guy comes to ask for my number! If by tonight another person asks for my number, it means I am considered universally cute!
And so, the banquet went on smoothly. Today I was placed at the VIP table, and guess what my colleague stole for me!
So cute right! Its Daikin's Dinner and Dance tonight and everywhere there was Pichonkun (that blue cartoon), including a giant mascot.
I took a bath after work, effectively making me late for catching the transport bus home. The bus leaves at 1230, and by 1225, the queue for getting the pay is still damn long. I started to panic a little, and rushed out to look for my colleague to ask her to tell the bus driver to wait for me.
Please keep in mind that by the end of the banquet my face is damn oily and make-up ruined. I stole many pieces of chicken to eat so my tummy was hanging out.
And someone really stopped me to ask me for my number.
He is really quite pleasant looking, so I gave it to him.
It turns out that he is one of the guys doing up the lights and such. Just now during the banquet when I was stealing chicken to eat and stuffing myself like theres no chicken left tomorrow, he saw me. He actually saw me not only being greedy and oily, but also in a shapeless black uniform, FLAT SHOES, and a stupid bun complete with hairnet.
And yet he is interested to know me.
I am amazed. Are these all Jem's friends who are testing if my liking for Jem stands strong? Perhaps. But Jeremy isn't so bo liao.
Lets have a test to see what has changed this few days.
1) New hair colour.
Thats me with a very placid smile. I did the colour at Toni and Guy acadamy and it sucks. The only part with colour is the top, and the ends are TOTALLY BLACK. My hair is utimately gross now.
I think I shall complain about the Toni and Guy thingy.
The hair dye-ing costs $35 at max, so you can do whatever you want; dye it pink, highlight three colours, whatever.
Firstly, the fellow told me to reach at 3pm at Heeren. I cannot be wrong coz when she told me the details, I immediately wrote it down in my palmtop. At 2:30, I received a call asking me why I am late and when can I reach Toni and Guy. I said that I thought it is 3pm, but since I am already at Orchard, I reassured them I will reach soon.
When I arrived at Heeren, the fellow told me it is my mistake and I should have been at the Clarke Quay outlet. How frustrating. I demanded to talk to the girl who told me where to go in the first place, but she insisted she couldnt have told me the information wrong. Nonetheless, she is rather polite and asked me to go to Clarke Quay and told me the bus to take.
When I arrived at the correct place, it was already 3pm. Everyone has started except the Indonesian student who was to do my hair for me. I apologized for making her wait (although it is not my fault).
The teacher came along and rushed me into choosing colours. I told her any colour is fine with me as long as it does not look red, no hint of red at all. She said it can be done and sashayed off.
"What about my highlights?" I exclaimed. I want my $35 to be fully utilised.
"There is no time for your highlights, mam."
"What do you mean no time!"
"How about this, we will let you do it the next time you come here, say at Wed?"
After this the student started to dye my hair. When she was done, she put me under this warmer thingy thats supposed to make the hair go into the hair faster.
Now this warmer thing hovers above your crown, so perhaps it would warm a normal guy's hair completely.
For my case however, the ends of my long hair is very very far away from the warmer.
"Like that the warmer would not warm my ends leh, wait the colour will be different", I told the student.
She actually had the nerve to chew her lip a little and say, "oh yeah hor...". Very cleverly, she turned her heel and left after saying this sentence, and did not do anything about it.
When I was done, the roots had plenty of colour but the ends are suddenly totally black.
I demanded to see the teacher immediately, but she was busy.
So I told the student to blow my hair into curls for me please.
She looked at me and actually had the nerve to say, "No time.". I gave her a very angry look, and then she said that she did not know how to blow curls.
The teacher arrived and I blew my top.
"Firstly, I already told you I dun want red. Is that very difficult to achieve? Can you explain to me why it is this colour? And, what happened to my ends! Why is it black? How can the ends be darker than the roots when obviously when I came in the ends were already blondish? And what kind of staff do you have here? Why does she not even know how to blow hair into curls?"
I made a big fuss and I was rewarded with a FREE dye job. The teacher said I can come back on weds (which is today actually) for more professional students to highlight for me, and if I am pleased, then I pay.
Ah well. It seems that overall the hair job is still good because the hair colour seems to have attracted a lot of guys. Besides that, since my hair was blown straight, I met Jem with straight hair and he commented that it looks nicer. Wonderful. Now I am considering whether I should go for the highlights tomorrow.
2) I am in love.
I am a woman in love!
I'm very tired again! I shall go sleep now... I know the blogging is incomplete and stuff, but heck. Nights all!
Monday, September 1, 2003
Wow, it has been like so long since the last standard blog entry. As I have a very terrible memory instead, I shall not even try blogging according to dates but about just events which happened.
JEREMY
Since the day I confessed to Jem about me helplessly liking him, I did not contact him for 3 days. After that, I gave him a msg on Friday, simply asking him where he would be working at weekend.
He replied, "Orchard"
Damn, so hostile. I continued my animated conversation with shuyin and did not bother replying.
Subsequently he msged me 3 other msgs consisting of one asking me where I am working, and when I didnt reply, another one asking which number I am using (since I have two numbers), and one more in my starhub line exclaiming, "Oei, msg you dunno how to reply ah."
Wow.
The magic of playing hard to get.
That night, I asked him to call me and we talked for 4 hours, till it was 5 am and we both had to sleep, for the next day, we both have to sell cellphones, no pun intended.
Saturday, I went to visit him to have our breaks together. A half hour break became an atrocious two hour break by the time I reached back to Bugis, but I was all smiles.
The UOB promoter, who I got along very well with, knew I was going to meet the guy of my dreams.
When I arrived back at Bugis in a trance-like state, she looked and me and commented that I was grinning from ear to ear.
I told her its not from ear to ear. My grin, has indeed stretched so far that they went around the back of my skull and the ends touched each other.
Anyway, for Jeremy's rejection, I bought him a gift.
It is a door wedge.
Why a door wedge? Because it is cheap, ugly, and stupid. I even chose the colour he hates most, green. I told him he deserves it for rejecting me. He however claims that he loves it very much. Ah, men. Buy them an expensive tie, and they say it is boring. Buy them perfume, and they say you are so common.
I say, buy door wedges. Buy back-scratchers. Buy them a pepper shaker even. Maybe they would see the humour in it.
Anyway, when I was meeting him for lunch:
Me: "Where are u going after work?"
Him: "Nowhere, should be home. You?"
Me: "I'm coming to look for you."
So I did, and we watched an 1130 movie, laughed at Johnny Depp together, and when we walked outta cineleisure, we saw the most spectacular sight. Spectacular for me, that is.
Jeremy exclaimed: "Oh shit, it is raining!!"
I laughed. Buwahhahaha... I was just feeling miserable I have to leave him already, and the L&T God took pity in me and gave a little H2O to little Singapore, particularly at Orchard Road. Wonderful. I could not have wished for most.
We took a seat in Cine and randomly talked nonsense till someone came to tell us the shopping centre is closing.
Let it still be raining, I prayed.
And it rained harder.
We sat outside the hotel beside Cine talking long after the rain has stopped. Till the unhappy cab driver who came to drive us had to send me home with me paying a normal cab fare.
It may seem that things are going fine, but i think... Jeremy is the kind who takes things EXTREMELY slowly. So, I have no conclusion yet as to whether we would ever get together.
GUYS
Tell me if you people agree on this:
When a guy (if you are a guy its a girl for your case) comes along, ALL OF THEM COME ALONG.
This fact is very irritating.
For example, now I like Jeremy right?
Who should suddenly give me a call but Nigel, my ex boyfriend. Now Nigel is one eligible guy. Let me tell you all what happened before.
Once upon a time (around a year ago), when I was very much single and bored with life and on the verge of going into beastiality to feel less lonely, Eileen's friend Xiuling suggested I go to Dbl O with her.
Thats where her bf is working at as a waiter.
She pointed to another waiter standing some distance away. "Thats Nigel", she told me. "Alvin (her bf)'s friend. He's quite cute, I intro you to him ok."
I thought Nigel looked a little big sized. "Erm...", I said.
But she has already pulled me to him and suddenly I found myself shaking hands and shouting my name over the music.
On a closer look, I realised that he is actually quite cute. Deep-set eyes and sharp nose. Brown hair.
While Xiuling and I sat at a quieter part of the club, Nigel kept coming over to chat with me.
"You are Eurasian?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh! Xiuling didn't tell me! So whats your surname?"
"D`Silva"
"Thats nice!" Yup, I dun think I mind being called Mrs D`Silva. It sounds so classy. I half-comtemplated asking him to marry me.
"So why did you chose to work at Dbl O?"
"Oh, coz I am lazy to find work."
"Thats irrelevant!"
"It is relevant! I am lazy to look for a job, so my mum asked me to work here."
"YOUR MUM ASKED YOU TO WORK AT A CLUB??!"
"Oh, she owns this place you see. Well, sort of." *sheepish smile*
I was stunned. So, Mrs D`Silva is actually the CEO is Emerald Hill Group, which has 7 clubs including its most successful which is Dbl O.
I skip the details. In short, Mr Eligible fell in love with me and we got together for a very short period of time. He suddenly became very cold towards me, and it turns out that his ex-gf, who he broke off with coz she is migrating to Australia, had told his friend that she still loved him.
It seems that Nigel liked her more than he likes me anyway, and within a few days of me finding out about the ex-gf, he flew off to Australia to find her.
We lost contact after that.
Nigel recently called me up again, and he said that he had been trying to contact me for ages, but he lost his hp, and my number was in it. It was not until much later that he managed to see Xiuling again and requested for my number from her.
So sweet. But too bad darling. I am in love with Jeremy.
On Thurday I was out at Topshop with June.
While June was scouring around the clothes, I decided I shall check on my site at topshop's computers. Beautiful the i mac may be, but it was spoilt. The mouse refused to go left when it in on the table, so I picked it up to roll on my palm instead. Surprisingly, this works. Feeling accomplished, I moved the arrow to the address bar and was trying to click on it when I realised someone was standing behind me, looking.
It is a guy in white shirt and pants.
Erm, is that stupid salesman gonna keep standing there?, I thought.
And he really kept standing there.
I felt somewhat intruded, and I dun particularly feel like showing this fellow my site. Furthermore, I realise how stupid I look trying to scroll the mouse on my palm.
I turned to leave, and he smiled at me.
So I smiled back, and still left anyway.
He suddenly stopped me, and mumbled, "Sorry, you think we can be friends?"
I took another look at him. Doesnt look too bad lar. Plus, I dun usually reject guys like this coz I understand the amount of courage it takes to go up to a girl like that. Ok I admit it. Actually I just like the praise that I expect would come from him later when I ask, "Why did you choose to come and know me?"
His name is Eric, and he is a car dealer, and not Topshop's salesman. However, once I heard the job occupation, the image that immediately filled my mind is that of a greasy car machanic. I cannot help it!
His name is Eric, and he is a greasy car machanic.
So sweet, Eric, but I am so in love with Jeremy, sorry.
And Sunday, when I was working at Hello! Bugis, I found out that the Motorola guy at M1, which is opposite Singtel, likes me.
I found out coz I told the UOB promoter that I think the Motorola guy kept flirting with me and she (the UOB promoter) said that the Panasonic girl wokring at M1 had told her that he likes me.
How superficial, he has not spoke to me more than 5 sentences. And guess what?? I can't believe he liked me when I was actually in my FLAT SHOES.
Whats with all the promoters at phone shops man. They keep liking each other.
When I called Jeremy, I told him that the Motorola guy likes me and he asked me which one is it. After a detailed description, he claimed that that fellow has been working at M1 for some time already, and said that I must have seen him before, as he came over to get pamphlets from Jeremy too.
How sad that I have never noticed him before.
Suddenly, when I found out about this, I felt a strong surge of anger. I have no idea what I am angry with, but I am just angry about how terrible the Motorola guy must have felt.
When he came over to get pamphlets from Jeremy, he must have seen me talking to Jeremy too. Frankly speaking, he is not good looking. What kinda chances would he stand of getting the Mitsubishi girl's attention when such a fucking cute guy is working at such close proximity to her?
And thats right too. All the time he liked me, but I was so smitten by Jeremy.
That day at lunch before I found out about him liking him, I was eating lunch with him, the UOB promoter, and two Panasonic promoters. I gushed to the UOB promoter how much I liked Jeremy, and apparently Kester (thats his name) heard me. It was so insensitive of me! Kester asked me who Jeremy is, and he said he knew who I am talking about.
He must be thinking I am a common, superficial bitch who only likes cute guys. But truth is, I like Jeremy because of many other reasons, mainly that he can really make me laugh. But Kester would not know.
I can totally understand how he must have felt.
You see, the problem with humans is this: We like people are are ABOVE our standards.
For example, I would not like someone (without him first liking me, or having any interaction with me) who I deem is uglier than myself, or stupider, or generally just... below my standards. You hear people gushing about how cute their crushes are. Or how smart, how rich, how humourous. Never how normal they are.
So, the person with the lower standards would go about doing the wooing, if they are confident enough.
In Jeremy's case, he is very eligible as he is considered universally cute, smart, funny and has a fabulous body and etc etc. So, in Jeremy's whole life, it has been girls liking him first, before he starts liking the girl, and me being one of those common girls.
I consider myself to be of middle standards because I have guys liking me, and I also have liked guys who do not like me back coz they are possibly looking for girls above my standards.
For example, Adryan (he is in character intro) likes Xiao feng despite me liking him for 4 months.
If sufficient wooing is done, the party with the higher standards might get together with the lower standards person, and I hope thats what will happen to me and Jem.
Thats how people get together, unless, in rare cases both parties fall in love together (so they would be of the same standards).
Well, for Kester, the girl he likes happens to be looking upwards, and would not notice him pining below.
It is very saddening when you like someone and realise that the someone you like is in love with someone else who is so much better than you and there is no way to ever win him, you get what I mean?
Thats exactly how I feel when Adryan said he likes Xiao feng, or guys I am interested in praises June or something. I feel very inconfident of myself, and helpless.
I feel extremely guilty, although I have no clue as to whether Kester likes me enough to feel sad over such an incident, or whether he thought deeply into the matter enough to realised the standards thing, or whether he just brushed off the matter by thinking I am so superficial.
Ah well. It sucks to be ugly (Note: I am not saying I am pretty. I'm average). It really does.
Lets take the conversation I had with the Samsung girl as an example. She works at M1, which is opp Singtel:
Me "I very sian over at Singtel leh"
She: "Why leh?"
Me "The promoters there quite sian. I wish the Motorola guy was here..."
"Who?"
"Oh, this very cute Motorola guy called Jeremy la... He used to work at Singtel. Haha, I like him mah"
"Very cute?? How does he look like?"
"Tall? Black hair... Damn cute"
"Oh, he was working here yesterday isn't it?"
"OMG, how do you know!! Yes yes that him! You working here yesterday meh? I thought you only work on sat and sun."
"Nope, not working! But I passed by here and I noticed him. Wah lau, I tell you ah, his dimples are damn mesmerising la!!!"
I grinned at the thought of Jem's dimples. "Yeah, very mesmerising indeed."
"Yeah lor. Wah lau I tell you ah. I thought I would see him here today, but instead its him *she gestures towards Kester*. I damn sian diao."
"Oh! You very mean leh!"
"True what... haha.. He so cute"
I half-comtemplated telling her to keep her paws to herself and not even think of stealing Jeremy over, but decided against it.
But the point is, she did not even work with Jeremy and she already likes him. Meanwhile, Kester's existence was an eyesore to her, coz he innocently replaced an adonis. He may have a heart of gold, but no one appreciates it. Its a cruel, cruel world.
Anyway, back to the point. Once i decided I like Jeremy, all the other guys start coming along. They distract me and sometimes make me doubt whether putting in the effort with Jeremy is worth it. It is very irritating. If one day Jeremy tells me it is impossible between us, all these other guys would be out of my life already coz I did not have time for them when they were here.
Then I would be lonely again, till one guy comes along again, and many other guys would start contacting me out of the blue at the same time. I wish they would just come one by one to be fair!
Anyway, got more things to blog about, but shall continue tml, I am tired!
JEREMY
Since the day I confessed to Jem about me helplessly liking him, I did not contact him for 3 days. After that, I gave him a msg on Friday, simply asking him where he would be working at weekend.
He replied, "Orchard"
Damn, so hostile. I continued my animated conversation with shuyin and did not bother replying.
Subsequently he msged me 3 other msgs consisting of one asking me where I am working, and when I didnt reply, another one asking which number I am using (since I have two numbers), and one more in my starhub line exclaiming, "Oei, msg you dunno how to reply ah."
Wow.
The magic of playing hard to get.
That night, I asked him to call me and we talked for 4 hours, till it was 5 am and we both had to sleep, for the next day, we both have to sell cellphones, no pun intended.
Saturday, I went to visit him to have our breaks together. A half hour break became an atrocious two hour break by the time I reached back to Bugis, but I was all smiles.
The UOB promoter, who I got along very well with, knew I was going to meet the guy of my dreams.
When I arrived back at Bugis in a trance-like state, she looked and me and commented that I was grinning from ear to ear.
I told her its not from ear to ear. My grin, has indeed stretched so far that they went around the back of my skull and the ends touched each other.
Anyway, for Jeremy's rejection, I bought him a gift.
It is a door wedge.
Why a door wedge? Because it is cheap, ugly, and stupid. I even chose the colour he hates most, green. I told him he deserves it for rejecting me. He however claims that he loves it very much. Ah, men. Buy them an expensive tie, and they say it is boring. Buy them perfume, and they say you are so common.
I say, buy door wedges. Buy back-scratchers. Buy them a pepper shaker even. Maybe they would see the humour in it.
Anyway, when I was meeting him for lunch:
Me: "Where are u going after work?"
Him: "Nowhere, should be home. You?"
Me: "I'm coming to look for you."
So I did, and we watched an 1130 movie, laughed at Johnny Depp together, and when we walked outta cineleisure, we saw the most spectacular sight. Spectacular for me, that is.
Jeremy exclaimed: "Oh shit, it is raining!!"
I laughed. Buwahhahaha... I was just feeling miserable I have to leave him already, and the L&T God took pity in me and gave a little H2O to little Singapore, particularly at Orchard Road. Wonderful. I could not have wished for most.
We took a seat in Cine and randomly talked nonsense till someone came to tell us the shopping centre is closing.
Let it still be raining, I prayed.
And it rained harder.
We sat outside the hotel beside Cine talking long after the rain has stopped. Till the unhappy cab driver who came to drive us had to send me home with me paying a normal cab fare.
It may seem that things are going fine, but i think... Jeremy is the kind who takes things EXTREMELY slowly. So, I have no conclusion yet as to whether we would ever get together.
GUYS
Tell me if you people agree on this:
When a guy (if you are a guy its a girl for your case) comes along, ALL OF THEM COME ALONG.
This fact is very irritating.
For example, now I like Jeremy right?
Who should suddenly give me a call but Nigel, my ex boyfriend. Now Nigel is one eligible guy. Let me tell you all what happened before.
Once upon a time (around a year ago), when I was very much single and bored with life and on the verge of going into beastiality to feel less lonely, Eileen's friend Xiuling suggested I go to Dbl O with her.
Thats where her bf is working at as a waiter.
She pointed to another waiter standing some distance away. "Thats Nigel", she told me. "Alvin (her bf)'s friend. He's quite cute, I intro you to him ok."
I thought Nigel looked a little big sized. "Erm...", I said.
But she has already pulled me to him and suddenly I found myself shaking hands and shouting my name over the music.
On a closer look, I realised that he is actually quite cute. Deep-set eyes and sharp nose. Brown hair.
While Xiuling and I sat at a quieter part of the club, Nigel kept coming over to chat with me.
"You are Eurasian?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh! Xiuling didn't tell me! So whats your surname?"
"D`Silva"
"Thats nice!" Yup, I dun think I mind being called Mrs D`Silva. It sounds so classy. I half-comtemplated asking him to marry me.
"So why did you chose to work at Dbl O?"
"Oh, coz I am lazy to find work."
"Thats irrelevant!"
"It is relevant! I am lazy to look for a job, so my mum asked me to work here."
"YOUR MUM ASKED YOU TO WORK AT A CLUB??!"
"Oh, she owns this place you see. Well, sort of." *sheepish smile*
I was stunned. So, Mrs D`Silva is actually the CEO is Emerald Hill Group, which has 7 clubs including its most successful which is Dbl O.
I skip the details. In short, Mr Eligible fell in love with me and we got together for a very short period of time. He suddenly became very cold towards me, and it turns out that his ex-gf, who he broke off with coz she is migrating to Australia, had told his friend that she still loved him.
It seems that Nigel liked her more than he likes me anyway, and within a few days of me finding out about the ex-gf, he flew off to Australia to find her.
We lost contact after that.
Nigel recently called me up again, and he said that he had been trying to contact me for ages, but he lost his hp, and my number was in it. It was not until much later that he managed to see Xiuling again and requested for my number from her.
So sweet. But too bad darling. I am in love with Jeremy.
On Thurday I was out at Topshop with June.
While June was scouring around the clothes, I decided I shall check on my site at topshop's computers. Beautiful the i mac may be, but it was spoilt. The mouse refused to go left when it in on the table, so I picked it up to roll on my palm instead. Surprisingly, this works. Feeling accomplished, I moved the arrow to the address bar and was trying to click on it when I realised someone was standing behind me, looking.
It is a guy in white shirt and pants.
Erm, is that stupid salesman gonna keep standing there?, I thought.
And he really kept standing there.
I felt somewhat intruded, and I dun particularly feel like showing this fellow my site. Furthermore, I realise how stupid I look trying to scroll the mouse on my palm.
I turned to leave, and he smiled at me.
So I smiled back, and still left anyway.
He suddenly stopped me, and mumbled, "Sorry, you think we can be friends?"
I took another look at him. Doesnt look too bad lar. Plus, I dun usually reject guys like this coz I understand the amount of courage it takes to go up to a girl like that. Ok I admit it. Actually I just like the praise that I expect would come from him later when I ask, "Why did you choose to come and know me?"
His name is Eric, and he is a car dealer, and not Topshop's salesman. However, once I heard the job occupation, the image that immediately filled my mind is that of a greasy car machanic. I cannot help it!
His name is Eric, and he is a greasy car machanic.
So sweet, Eric, but I am so in love with Jeremy, sorry.
And Sunday, when I was working at Hello! Bugis, I found out that the Motorola guy at M1, which is opposite Singtel, likes me.
I found out coz I told the UOB promoter that I think the Motorola guy kept flirting with me and she (the UOB promoter) said that the Panasonic girl wokring at M1 had told her that he likes me.
How superficial, he has not spoke to me more than 5 sentences. And guess what?? I can't believe he liked me when I was actually in my FLAT SHOES.
Whats with all the promoters at phone shops man. They keep liking each other.
When I called Jeremy, I told him that the Motorola guy likes me and he asked me which one is it. After a detailed description, he claimed that that fellow has been working at M1 for some time already, and said that I must have seen him before, as he came over to get pamphlets from Jeremy too.
How sad that I have never noticed him before.
Suddenly, when I found out about this, I felt a strong surge of anger. I have no idea what I am angry with, but I am just angry about how terrible the Motorola guy must have felt.
When he came over to get pamphlets from Jeremy, he must have seen me talking to Jeremy too. Frankly speaking, he is not good looking. What kinda chances would he stand of getting the Mitsubishi girl's attention when such a fucking cute guy is working at such close proximity to her?
And thats right too. All the time he liked me, but I was so smitten by Jeremy.
That day at lunch before I found out about him liking him, I was eating lunch with him, the UOB promoter, and two Panasonic promoters. I gushed to the UOB promoter how much I liked Jeremy, and apparently Kester (thats his name) heard me. It was so insensitive of me! Kester asked me who Jeremy is, and he said he knew who I am talking about.
He must be thinking I am a common, superficial bitch who only likes cute guys. But truth is, I like Jeremy because of many other reasons, mainly that he can really make me laugh. But Kester would not know.
I can totally understand how he must have felt.
You see, the problem with humans is this: We like people are are ABOVE our standards.
For example, I would not like someone (without him first liking me, or having any interaction with me) who I deem is uglier than myself, or stupider, or generally just... below my standards. You hear people gushing about how cute their crushes are. Or how smart, how rich, how humourous. Never how normal they are.
So, the person with the lower standards would go about doing the wooing, if they are confident enough.
In Jeremy's case, he is very eligible as he is considered universally cute, smart, funny and has a fabulous body and etc etc. So, in Jeremy's whole life, it has been girls liking him first, before he starts liking the girl, and me being one of those common girls.
I consider myself to be of middle standards because I have guys liking me, and I also have liked guys who do not like me back coz they are possibly looking for girls above my standards.
For example, Adryan (he is in character intro) likes Xiao feng despite me liking him for 4 months.
If sufficient wooing is done, the party with the higher standards might get together with the lower standards person, and I hope thats what will happen to me and Jem.
Thats how people get together, unless, in rare cases both parties fall in love together (so they would be of the same standards).
Well, for Kester, the girl he likes happens to be looking upwards, and would not notice him pining below.
It is very saddening when you like someone and realise that the someone you like is in love with someone else who is so much better than you and there is no way to ever win him, you get what I mean?
Thats exactly how I feel when Adryan said he likes Xiao feng, or guys I am interested in praises June or something. I feel very inconfident of myself, and helpless.
I feel extremely guilty, although I have no clue as to whether Kester likes me enough to feel sad over such an incident, or whether he thought deeply into the matter enough to realised the standards thing, or whether he just brushed off the matter by thinking I am so superficial.
Ah well. It sucks to be ugly (Note: I am not saying I am pretty. I'm average). It really does.
Lets take the conversation I had with the Samsung girl as an example. She works at M1, which is opp Singtel:
Me "I very sian over at Singtel leh"
She: "Why leh?"
Me "The promoters there quite sian. I wish the Motorola guy was here..."
"Who?"
"Oh, this very cute Motorola guy called Jeremy la... He used to work at Singtel. Haha, I like him mah"
"Very cute?? How does he look like?"
"Tall? Black hair... Damn cute"
"Oh, he was working here yesterday isn't it?"
"OMG, how do you know!! Yes yes that him! You working here yesterday meh? I thought you only work on sat and sun."
"Nope, not working! But I passed by here and I noticed him. Wah lau, I tell you ah, his dimples are damn mesmerising la!!!"
I grinned at the thought of Jem's dimples. "Yeah, very mesmerising indeed."
"Yeah lor. Wah lau I tell you ah. I thought I would see him here today, but instead its him *she gestures towards Kester*. I damn sian diao."
"Oh! You very mean leh!"
"True what... haha.. He so cute"
I half-comtemplated telling her to keep her paws to herself and not even think of stealing Jeremy over, but decided against it.
But the point is, she did not even work with Jeremy and she already likes him. Meanwhile, Kester's existence was an eyesore to her, coz he innocently replaced an adonis. He may have a heart of gold, but no one appreciates it. Its a cruel, cruel world.
Anyway, back to the point. Once i decided I like Jeremy, all the other guys start coming along. They distract me and sometimes make me doubt whether putting in the effort with Jeremy is worth it. It is very irritating. If one day Jeremy tells me it is impossible between us, all these other guys would be out of my life already coz I did not have time for them when they were here.
Then I would be lonely again, till one guy comes along again, and many other guys would start contacting me out of the blue at the same time. I wish they would just come one by one to be fair!
Anyway, got more things to blog about, but shall continue tml, I am tired!
