Sunday, July 31, 2005
Ministers, burgers, and fresh air!
So I thought - Why?
I decided it is because the ratio of bread to patty is just way too much for a normal cheeseburger to taste good.
With this thought, I voiced out loud to Shuyin (or it could be June, I cannot remember), "Why the thing that kiap the patty must be bread leh? Why cannot have patties kiap bread?" I asked, pointing to a burger photo.
Shuyin gave me a look of forced patience, and mockingly said yeah hor, why she never think of it, or something to that effect. She also explained that THAT IS BECAUSE IF PATTY KIAP BREAD THEN ALL THE JUICES WILL FLOW OUT AND IT WILL BE VERY STICKY LAH, DUH!
Now, we all know that Mos burger is always trying to be funny with the burger buns. People all quite happy with bread, they go and make burger buns using rice.
Woot! I like it a lot.
Then VOILA!
They came up with a new combination! Usually, it is bread/rice kiap lettuce and chicken patty right?
Hmm... Maybe they thought... Nowadays stupid girls don't like to eat carbo, then what else can kiap the chicken patty and lettuce?
Ham pieces? Maybe seaweed? Then it hit them. Lettuce will kiap the lettuce and chicken patty.
Behold:
A burger of lettuce and chicken wrapped in lettuce!
It is sibeh ho seh for a dieting girl like me! I WILL BUY IT, even if stupid lettuce only 30c in market!
I think it is actually quite nice leh! Except that it is super messy, so don't eat it with a date.
So anyway, some of you might have seen me on TV yesterday... Wanyi told me I was on Channel 8 news, and also on CNA!
I have been approached to be one of the ambassadors for an Anti-smoking campaign!
The campaign is called Fresh Air for Women, and its targetted group are women aged 18-29, and to help them quit, by being friends of these smokers.
I really hope that females smokers reading this will quit... I don't think it is worth it you know, it affects your baby's health in future, and it makes you so much less beautiful.
As for younger readers, don't start!!! Howard says smelly girls are unattractive! =) You can save $5,000 a year! With that money you can go for RHINOPLASTY even!
Who is this Howard person, you people ask... Some of you already know lah, and he is the only guy in that CNA photo... Howard Lo, of Eye for a Guy II fame, is the last eliminated contestant.
EVERYBODY SAY AWWWWWWwwww.... Damn you, Denise Keller! He's such a sweetie! Although he is very rude to me. I think it is because I ate all of his Ben & Jerry Cherry Garcia ice cream. Damn.
He was showing me the video and saying out his thoughts (vs the TV's speech) and it was damn funny. But I cannot tell you what he said! He made me swear against a loved one's life.
So anyway, Howard.
It is damn funny, actually. Now I know Howard way before he got famous. We were at Thumper, and his friend was talking to Eileen Tan (or maybe to me, I cannot remember, but later on he did talk to Eileen Tan). So the two of us were kinda bored.
And we started talking.
I was having fun, trying to pretend like I am a mysterious young lady. It didn't work, because Howard is a GEEK. What do geeks do? They get on the computer, and when they have done enough programming for the day, they do something more relaxing and surf 300 blogs (mrbrown does that too). They gently criticise among themselves how these blogs could have better RSS and firewalls and etc computer jargons.
So back to the trying to be mysterious part.
I failed miserably, because Howard has seen my blog before and he knows everything about me there is to know, except maybe a clear view of my molars. Hmmm, maybe I should put up a photo of them one day.
The night was ending, Eileen wanted to go, and I was like, DAMN, this fucking Howard guy hasn't asked my number.
Bye Howard!
Ok, he is ok with me going... Maybe he's gonna email me. Is it because my molars are unattractive?
I cannot remember how, but I remember we exchanged numbers before I cruised off in a taxi at the last minute.
But we are just friends now! Hey please lah, look at people's taste - DENISE KELLER OK!? Me is who? Just a small-time blogger nia...
So anyway, fast forward a few months, HOWARD BECOMES FAMOUS!!! Woohoo! He actually has his female fans from the show can?
Can I hao lian something? IT WAS HOWARD I WAS OUT WITH ON V DAY!!! I didn't mention his name coz I've always thought he is a very private person, but since go on TV liao, there is no more privacy to talk about lah, hor?
I found out that Howard is also an ambassador for Fresh Air for Women!
And right before me, he was also on Class 95's blind dates! How coincidental is that?
Paiseh ah, I know this is a bit late, but here are the photos for the media briefing...
When I first arrived, I thought media briefing means that we are just meeting the PR company to talk about what will happen during the press conference.
To my horror, I was late, dressed in a mourning black crumply dress, and walked smack into a multitude of reporters and cameras.
Thank you very much, but the big table is sibeh intimidating. Thank goodness Howard was there, because...
EUNICE OLSON AND JAMIE YEO COULDN'T COME, but there, standing beside my seat making small talk with someone, is MISS CLAIRE CHIANG!
People is the founder and Executive Director of Banyan Tree! I am not worthy to sit beside her!!!!
She smiled at me and was perfectly friendly. I like her a lot! She told Howard and I about her teenage daughter, who seemed a have accomplished a lot more than most 19 year olds.
And of course, the lady in pale blue...
She graced the room's carpet by walking in, and as she walked, people popped up from their sitting positions machiam Kallang Wave as she neared them. An unwavering smile to everyone, and firm shakes with all the hands, complete with a personalised greeting each...
There is no mistake it is an MP - it is Dr Lily Neo.
Hell, the first thing I can think of it, Wah, sibeh chio.
I handed my camera to one of the PR girls (thank you so much for taking the photos for me!!), but none of the shots of Dr Lily Neo turned out clear... But personally, I think she looks like Fann Wong, albeit older?
She was very nice too, no airs, but then I am sure all our government's MPs are like that, for they have sufficient training at all the GRC meetings where they meet the people.
No smoking = better skin! =)
Ms Claire talking...
And my turn... I was damn nervous coz I didn't prepare my speech beforehand ... Blabbering... (Dr Neo listening to me!!!)
Still blabbering.
Now Howard's turn...
He loves me.
Group photo!
I was perusing the photos when Howard and I were having dinner (Japanese, but no raw clams) after this, and I said, "Oh dear, the only group shot I have, Dr Lily Neo is closing her eyes leh!"
"So?" Howard said.
"Huh, then I cannot put it up on my blog!"
"Why not?"
"She will get angry what, it's so ugly!"
"You think she reads your blog?"
"Oh yeah hor..."
So there you go.
We were given tee shirts to wear on the official launching day for FAFW, and Howard was making a big fuss about wearing pink stuff - ok, not just pink stuff, but a lady's cut tee with pink flowers splashed across the chest.
Like this!
I only managed to take one photo, was a bit shou mang jiao luan with helping to give out things! The girls were helping out today, and one of them is so tall...! Erm, tell me if you don't want your photo here k, I'll take it off.
If you wanna see more pics can check out the papers I guess. =)
But I don't think there will be much news about me, for compared to the rest of the ambassadors I am really nothing. BUT I WILL STILL JIA YOU AND SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!! Quit smoking!!!
Speaking of ministers, I suddenly remembered the day when I met a certain someone for the first time! So I went to dig out the photos!
It was during a charity event which Eileen Wee brought me to, and it was organised by this socialite called Celena, which I very likely spelt wrongly (the name). Selena? Selina? Celina? I DUNNO!
She is nearing 40 I believe, and still as gorgeous as ever!!! When I am old, I also wanna be like that! She made her fortune (IF I AM NOT WRONG) as a stockbroker, made a hefty sum, and now she has her own jewellery line!
Help me I am surrounded by very gorgeous people!
I casually walked pass a table, and I was like, "FUCK! Eileen! Who is that?! WAH LAU, VERY CUTE!!"
Referring to the guy who is thumbing rudely at something.
Eileen laughed and told me.
Later, Eileen left me sitting on a chair because she went to buy drinks. She didn't come back for very long, and when I looked for her, she was talking to the guy! WAH, SIAO LIAO!
I immediately pounced.
I covered the guy in a double mosquito net and he is held captive now, and is mopping the floor.
I WISH!
Instead...
"Hey, Wendy, come, join us!" Eileen said, and she made the necessary introductions. Being the nice, thoughtful girl she is, she conveniently walked away, leaving me and the guy to talk to each other.
There was a moment of awkward silence, and the first damn thing I said was, "Isn't that palm tree tickling your neck?"
For indeed, the guy was tall, and he was standing underneath a certain protuding fake palm tree, its leaves on the back of his neck.
Very brilliant pick-up line Wendy, very smart. First thing you talk about is a damned palm tree.
"Oh yeah it is," he mumbled and laughed, hopping from underneath the tree, where the poor thing had to pretend it wasn't ticklish when he was doing polite small talk with Eileen just now.
I liked him immediately because he laughed at my joke.
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Hiyah cheh, ONLY ADRIAN LAH. The start machiam so romantic, now we are just friends, good friends. Time flies! It has been 6 months since that day, hor? OMG THE PALM TREE! You can see the palm tree right?
Wah, I was damn fair last time ok!
I feel cheated by Adrian. He is very sloppy lor, when he is not in suits! His hair is messy and he is forever in those CK berms. When I asked him why when I first met him he is so handsome and now he so ugly, he grunted and asked me how come when he first met me I looked like that and now I so ugly also.
OEI! I am not ugly now ok? I am just tanner!
The whole point of the minister talk is this precious photo lah:
Woot! Mr Mah Bow Tan and his wife Dr Sheryn Mah.
They are both super nice people!!
I got some more stuff to blog about, but I think I shall go sleep, I am so super tired, it is 7am by the time I finish this, and I have to wake up for a shoot tomorrow, for Lime magazine.
HOW COOL IS THAT? =)
I love professionally taken photos!! T-shirt, of course, by Localbrand. Bloody Turodrique hasn't updated the site, I am gonna holler at him.
I don't even want to talk about it.
My answer is no.
You ask me to join the official 18-planets-believers club. To join and be a member, I must go to your house everyday to gaze at the "planets" with your bunch of friends.
I am to call myself a 18-er.
I said I won't, because I don't really believe you. You try to show me, by reading me physics notes, and maybe, even positioning the telescope. Are those planets? Or are those normal stars? I don't know, and frankly speaking - I AM JUST NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.
Again and again your friends try to badger me to listen to them explain about the planets (reading physics notes and telescoping again), and be an 18-er.
Wow, you have 50 people joining, and so many cannot be wrong.
When one day, you ask me to listen to you talk about the 18 planets again, I am so agitated, that I said I have listened enough, and if you don't mind, I just will not join the club.
In fact, unless you tell me for sure that those are not mere stars, I don't even have enough belief in the 18 planets to confidently announce I join the club, and put my heart and soul into going to your house everyday to gaze.
When I reject or disagree with your views, you say I am close-minded.
My friend, please do not get angry with me. It is not because your opinion counts for less than those in your club, nor did I mean to be obstinate.
True, I am indeed rejecting to listen, but that is because WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE 18 PLANETS MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME, plus I am sick of hearing about the 18 planets.
I don't give a shit about them, and I am not interested to waste my time arguing and defending my opinions.
I know that finding these 18 planets are very important to you, but you must understand that it is not important or significant to me at all.
Yes, maybe they exist. Who knows for sure, right? But if you ask me to bet my life on whether there are indeed 18 planets, I'll probably say no.
Even if they do, I don't believe I have to do anything about them being there. They do not affect my life - I have enough proof of that, for I have been living 21 years under disbelief/ignorance, and I am fine.
As for the club - I do not like your friends, nor do I believe the planets must be gazed at daily. And because being an 18-er means not only believing your word that there are 18 planets. Because being an 18-er also means I am part of a planet-gazing commodity, where there are certain rules I have to adhere to.
So pardon me, if I do not join your club.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Since no one create for me, I create myself lor
Their very own biography page/fan site!
How cool is that?
Ok lah, I was damn boh liao so I did it for fun, copying Fann Wong's and Jolin Tsai's formats.
Little did I know I have so much things to write. Go and create your own also, then you will be an instant celebrity!
Have fun. CLICK!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Club Momo, Mom Momo
He say got this big tank, it is 2 metres high and full of "brown colour things lah" ("Huh, can see the shit and all that ah?!" "I don't know lah, I NEVER GO AND SEE!") and he wears a gas mark with a full body suit to work.
Damn funny, where got people take engineering course then really so suay kena this kinda job one?! WHAAHHA...
So anyway, those who know me a little better might be laughing at the CLUB MOMO thing. When I first found out that there was a club called Momo, I kept laughing my head off, coz Momo is what I call my mom!!
Me: MOMO! I am going out! Kelvin say he introduce cute guys to me!!!
Momo: Where are you going? Please don't be so desperate hor!
Me: I am going to Momo!
Momo: Don't be rude.
Me: Really! The club is called Momo!
Momo: Really ah?
Sibeh funny lah! Momo used to be very angry whenever I call her Momo, coz she say that's not her name and she doesn't like it. Now she accepts it, and even gets upset that a club copies her name! =)
I love my Momo.
On a completely irrelevant note, I've learnt how to spin the hoola hoop infinitely, and I think that renders me a very sexy person indeed. However, while I spin I realise that I will be facing a completely opposite direction after 2 minutes. =(
Smelly, who mastered the hoop a few days before I did (Momo bought the hoop in hope of a slimmer waist but never mastered it... kua kua kua), said that I am lousy.
When I asked him why he say that, he proudly proclaimed that he can dance to She Bangs while hoolahooping. WTF? Why my brother so gay? I told him to show me, and I wanted to video tape to show you all, but he saw through my plans and ran inside Momo's room to hide and promptly fell asleep.
Cloudy (my dog) is very stupid. When I was still learning how to spin the hoop, he would come near me, underneath the hoop, to kpo and see what is that shimmery purple thing I am spinning (or attempting to spin).
He would wag his tail and stare up at me enquiringly. Rather cute, actually.
I tried to kick him away, but I know it will make me drop the hoop, so I can only endure his mocking face. I'm sure he thinks that he can spin better.
Being amateur with the hoop then, the hoop constantly drops onto Cloudy, whereby he would yelp in shock that a shimmery purple thing can suddenly fall on him, and go hide underneath the computer table, bullied by the big bad hoola hoop.
Again and again he does this. -_- My friends are right, Cloudy is indeed very stupid.
More blogging tomorrow, complete with ministers' (plural, mind you) photos. I am so tireeeeeeeed!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
I don't want to sound rude, but...
There is no un-arrogant way to go about this, but I have to say it... I've been blogging since April 2003. I am the one winning several blogging awards, not you.
I am not trying to be hao lian, I am only being honest here.
Don't you think, trying to teach me the correct ways of blogging is akin to teaching dumbledore(excellent site for fans!) how to cast a spell?
Not that I am as old, funny or intelligent as he is lah, but I will take Andrew Sullivan's advice on how to blog... I will take Maddox's. I will take Mrbrown's.
But who are you?
Anyone can give advice, yes, and I agree that sometimes ... pang guan zhe qing. I will of course listen to people telling me their opinions, or telling me what kinda of blog entries are generally more well-received and so on. I know that there are many smarter people around me who are concerned and give me their feedback, and I appreciate that a lot. I thank you all for kind reminders...
But what about self-righteous pompous fools?
There are many rude (and apparently stupid) people who try to force blogging advice down my throat, like they know any better.
Let me ask you this question: Who are you to attempt to teach Xiaxue how to blog?
Before you give someone advice, do you not think of whether you are an expert in your field? Do you teach Brad Pitt to act? Do you tell Mariah Carey how to sing properly? Do you demand that Lao Lee should govern the country with your methods?
You can tell these people they are not doing a good job and how they can improve yes, but you are not qualified to teach, demand or instruct them to do anything, for they are have proven themselves to be far better in their various fields than you ever can be.
Well, do you even have a BLOG??
If you are good enough to be advising people at this blogging shit, why are you not the one being recognised for your blog?
One reader once emailed to me, telling me that my style of writing sucks, and I should follow her style of writing.
I told her, "No thank you, if I followed your style my blog will be as disgustingly mediocre as yours."
She also gave dire warnings that should I change, (YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME XIAXUE!) I will soon lose all my readers, blah blah. Alas, I lost all my mails or I can copy her mail here.
I told her - One day, when you become as accomplished as me in the blogosphere, then I will listen to you! But unfortunately when that day comes, I will be like super accomplished, so I guess I still won't listen.
She never replied.
So my point being: Stupid people, please stop teaching me how to blog. Why should I listen to you? You show me that first.
p/s: Stupid people will still take this post as absurd arrogance on my part. Smart people will know that I only mean not to take ill-mannered advice from losers who are in no position to teach anyone anything. So fuck those stupid people, I don't give a shit what they think.
Monday, July 25, 2005
I am happy!
WAHAHAHHA!! I am a shalala happy bird! So many good things are happening to me! Many many! Okok... I've also gotten many companies approach me recently and it means I will be RICH WOOHOO $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ A LOT OF $$$$$$$$
I also started this private blog a few days ago, and I love writing in it. It is really sad that I have to mask everything here. My English is really lousy on the new blog, I don't give a shit about offending anyone, I can say all the vulgarities I want, and I don't even have to punctuate if I don't want to!
Best is I can insult the world and nobody will scold me, yay!
I read the site, and, having given the address to a few close friends, and they all agreed that it is so much better than my writing here. Sigh. So I shall try to be a bit more natural here. The best way is to actually stop having comments, because reading the comments upset me, especially when people ACCUSE me. BAH!
Hiyah, you don't try to kpo ok? As I said, the new blog is not only password protected, it is also anonymous and all my friends' names are changed. =D
I like it!
I like everything today! It is all good! As I am writing this, the weather outside is rainy! I love rain! But I only love rain because it waters the poor farmers' crops and gives them life. JUST KIDDING! WHO CARES ABOUT FARMERS?! Me like rain coz I don't have a fucking aircon remember?
I wish it would rain whenever I am sleeping, and have super strong sun whenever I feel like sun tanning. Sigh... Tan is fading off... NOT EILEEN TAN LAH YOU STUPID, tan as in opposite of fair! BOM! SUMMON SUN!!!
Recently, I have been using this sentence a lot, on this particular person whom everyone is saying is very pretty and all, but I FIND HER VERY PLAIN INDEED!
So, everytime I hear ... "GirlA is very pretty right?" I take out a sliver of cow liver out of my pocket** and slap the person around a bit with the liver sliver until he chokes. And then I trottle him with a periodic table.
**I put it there just in case I hear that sentence
JUST JOKING LAH. I am not so violent! I am a kind-hearted girl. As I was saying, due to the frequency in which I hear "GirlA is very pretty right?" I came up with a saying to retort that.
I think it is very funny. When I do say it to you, you must laugh ok?
Here goes:
"She is so plain, if she were a waffle people will attempt to put kaya on her!!!"
WAHAHHAHAHAHA! FUNNY NOT? I think it is sibeh FUNNY CAN?? Wah, cannot stand it. I think I am Charlie Chaplin reincarnated, I am so hilarious, only colour version, of course. And no funny mustache.
Ok,I can imagine people like Wong and Wanyi (OMG, WANYI'S SURNAME ALSO WONG!) rolling their eyes coz I kept saying that sentence recently (due to the fact that I think it is very funny).
So anyway, I am very happy today, did I already say that? I DID, I DID! But I am bubububursting with happiness! I imagine, if I were to be a mood, I would be happy! I imagine, if I were to be a colour, I will be sunburst yellow!
If I were to be a carebear, I will be Gloomy bear - JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE THE HAPPY BEAR!
If I were to be a few letters on the keyboard, I will be H A P and Y!
If I were to be a person, I will be me!
Tralala!!
My friend told me that he is appalled by TT Durai's pay and he thinks that Durai quitted because he damn paiseh to announce to the world that his pay is so low. My friend also tripled his donations to NKF after the incident, and demanded that they pay T.T more money!
THAT ASIDE!
Kinda weird to be blogging this out when I am so happy, since it is actually quite an angry incident.
WAH! I AM SO HAPPY!!! *hugs the whole internet world* I hug Xialanxue and my haters and even my hacker muacks!!! I am a happy girl! Pardon me for a while, I have to jump up and down in joy while squealing all the time!
Shit, my neighbour upstairs threw a soiled diaper into my room. I poke him with a broomstick!
Okok I ask you this - it has been a question I've been thinking about since ages ago:
You have a guy friend (Guy) and you have a female friend (Girl). Guy and Girl are both very close friends to you.
Guy drives, Girl does not.
One day, Guy say that he is interested in Girl, and you arrange for them both to meet up in a group outing with you.
Guy drives you (and you are female) and Girl around, but Guy and Girl are still barely friends right? So of course, you sit in the front seat, Girl sits at the back.
Later on, Guy and Girl get along among themselves, and they start to contact each other and all. Guy likes Girl. He is chasing her.
Herein lies the problem: The next time there is a group outing, who sits at the back seat?
ME!!! KNNBCCB, I always kena pushed to the back seat, why? *mumble grumble* It is not so much so of the front or back seat, it is the relationship it symbolises!
Ok, I cannot blog that out angrily enough because...
I AM VERY HAPPY WHAT!
I hope nothing spoils my mood! I shall go sleep now, and friends, you can check out the private blog to see what happened!
WOOT!!! If I knew how to yodel, I will yodel at the top of my voice!
YODEL LEI YODEL LEI!!!
Friday, July 22, 2005
I can go down, but I get up again, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BRING ME DOWN
Warning: Super long blog entry with a blow-by-blow account of what happened!
A big big thank you HUG FOR EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO HELP ME! I don't care if you skinny or fat, sweaty or clean, female or male! I hug everyone! MUACKS! I am sorry if I was unable to reply some of your kind emails, but I was overwhelmed with all that's happening, and the mails were simply too many to reply.
To the people who say I have this coming, I would like to fart in your face! POOOT! Smelly not? I hope it is. I know it's really childish, but I cannot resist this. Stupid people are all around!
Since what goes around comes around you say...
..
..
..
I must be a really nice person! I HAVE EXTREMELY GOOD KARMA! See what I told you? Buy Good-Karma tissues, it works! Amazing, really, the good luck that I had.. you would think I drank Felix Felicis.
This is a more detailed (and funnier) account of what happened.
At around 430am, my IE wasn't working, so I used Mozilla to log into my Gmail. I clicked on the link and was immediately logged in. To my surprise, I only had 2 emails inside, both unread.
I thought, siao liao, must be this stupid Gmail cock up. I laughed. I really laughed, because my gmail account looks so stupid with only 2 mails in them. I refreshed the page; Gmail logged me out.
Still smiling a bit, I tried to log in, but obviously cannot.
-PANIC-
My heart going 'pong pong pong' (just like the sound that SKII girl makes), I clicked on "forgot your password?" and Gmail said they will send a mail to my secondary email, which I have no fucking idea what it is.
Already, I was close to tears because I knew that the 2 emails I saw was because the rest were deleted.
Hyperventilating, I clicked onto Blogger.com, expecting, hoping, that the site will load up.
KNN! Was logged out.
I started to break out in cold sweat, which is no mean feat in the non-airconditioned room that I stay in.
Fingers trembling, I tried once, twice, thrice to log into blogger, and I cannot.
I clicked on Blogger's "forgot your password?" was forced into tears, because blogger sends the password to my gmail account! FUCK!
Next: xiaxue.blogspot.com - When I saw the white background load, a small part of me died. The small part belongs to somewhere along the length of my legs, which explains why I am so short.
And then I broke down completely.
I called Turodrique (with some difficulty mine you, as fingers weren't really working), because he is always so rational... Phone off.
Called Kenny, yes, in Malaysia. Apparently he sleeping.
Called Shuyin... A GOD-INDUCED MIRACLE! She picked up! I blabbled incoherently, while she gave sympathetic notes and asked me questions.
This is the mark of a true friend. Instead of going back to sleep, she stayed awake with me, talking on MSN and helping me check facts and refreshing the hacked site to read the comments for clues, all the way till morning.
Meanwhile, I was feeling more and more helpless by the minute. It all seemed very bleak! I didn't receive any emails from Gmail to my other email accounts, and to get back your email without going through the secondary email you must answer a few questions.
Besides the usual location, name etc, Gmail also asked these very ridiculous questions to verify I am me.
- What's your security question?
- When did u start using Gmail?
- What's the URL on your gmail invite?
LIKE WTF?? I mean seriously, got so many security questions, how I know it's which one? Can be "What is your ugliest pet?" or "Who's your daddy?!" right? Wah rau! And when did I start using gmail?
CAN YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU STARTED USING UR EMAIL ACCOUNT? AND WHAT URL? WHAT RUBBISH ARE THEY ASKING?
Gmail said that if questions are unanswered they might not be able to give me my account back. I was quite horrified at this.
They said that I can try clicking on the 'forgot password' thing after five days, and get back my account by answering my own security question.
HELLO, YOU STUPID OR WHAT, THE HACKER CAN CHANGE THE SECURITY QUESTION RIGHT?!?
In a flurry of blind panic, I emailed both Gmail Support (a machine that doesn't work) and also Blogger Support... As a last resort, I even added BloggerBuzz as well as Biz Stone himself.
If you are interested, this was my email:
Hi you guys,
I am xiaxue, or Wendy Cheng, also known as the author of xiaxue.blogspot.com. My website is the Best Asian Blog 2004 and 2005 (www.bloggies.com). I've been featured on bloggerbuzz once as I am the first blogger to get a t-shirt endorsement deal.
Here's the article: http://buzz.blogger.com/2005/03/ambassador-xiaxue.html
My website, very unfortunately for me, as been hacked. If you care to look into xiaxue.blogspot.com, you can see what happened to it.
Very stupidly of me, my email account, which was xiaxue@gmail.com, has been hacked into as well.
I need to wait for gmail's confirmation to get back my gmail account, as for some reason it didn't send the password to my secondary email address. Therefore, unable to retrieve my blogger password from my email, I cannot log in.
I am pleading for help here. Can blogger help to recover my files, can it return me my password?
If you guys don't believe it is me, can I do anything, anything at all to verify myself? Call me! I'll even show you my id card. Anything! Because I am the real xiaxue! My livelihood is through my blog now, and it is so very very important to me. 2 years of hard work!!! I blogged so much, and it's all gone!
I hope blogger can help me with this. Despite having a readership of 10,000 a day and having many blogging platforms approach me, I stuck to using blogger and many people have followed suit.
If blogger cannot give me the account, then can it at least.... to the very least...make sure no one takes the username xiaxue until I get my account back? Which I most definitely will, once I get my gmail account back!
Biz, I am writing this email to you too, because I know you once left a comment on my blog, saying you like the blog.
I really hope you guys can help me.
Wendy
Obviously the email was written in a state of hysterics. I cannot even begin to think properly.
The reason why the email to them sounded so arrogant and so eager to prove who I am is because I am scared that they ignore me. Blogger, which is owned by Google, is a really big American company with millions of blogs under their name. I am merely one of those many, I'm sure, who got hacked the day before.
That's why I stressed so much that my blog is an established one, hoping they will at least take notice. It was a last resort that I used.
I emailed myself on my xiaxue gmail account, pleading with the hacker to return me me blog. God, I sounded so pathetic.
He never read these mails...
....
Time passed, and the tears stopped. I have resigned to the fact that the blog is gone.
I took heart that I have saved my entries till May 2005, and I was determined to do up the site again, even if I had to put into entry by entry and re-uploading all my photos.
....
It was 730am, and I decided there is nothing more I can do, so I off-ed the computer. Minutes later, I realised my MSN password is the same as my gmail's!
I hastily turned on again, agitated that the hacker is causing me so much trouble.
Out of habit, I clicked on IE, and out of a very lucky habit again, I clicked on Gmail, which was on my favourites.
VOILA! I got in!
I sat there and I couldn't believe my good luck. This time, I didn't gong gong go and refresh the page, but hastily set a new password. With this, I got back my blogger account again, but all the blogs were gone, except for xiaxue.blogspot.com, which was horribly tainted.
REJOICE!!! I have gotten back everything that belongs to me! Well except the blogs and 3,000 emails, all deleted.
Brown cow called me, and gave me grandfatherly advice on choosing passwords properly. Thanks also James, for helping though you were in Japan, and you too Daryl and TT! My fellow Tomorrow editors are SWELL! I never felt so cared for by a team of IT experts!
***********
I couldn't sleep, so I checked my other mails again (to see if anyone responded). I was doubtful that Gmail or Blogger replied, BUT Holy Mayonnaise! Biz Stone himself replied! Within 2 hours!
I couldn't believe my eyes:
I peed in my Pjs in joy, and Cloudy (my cute dog), who was sleeping underneath my chair, looked up quizzically at the sudden wetness.
It was then that I had a clear look at the Cloud...I realised, he didn't look like the usual fair and white Cloudy... He looked:
I wonder what this means. It is clearly symbolic of something!
Never mind, I still hugged the newly dark Cloud and skipped around the room in joy!
I got Biz Stone helping me! NOW WHO CAN BULLY ME, HUH, WHO?!
I got to sleep at 11am, Momo being extra nice to me (she was very worried too), and dream fretfully of shipping ridiculously expensive presents over to the US for Biz and the rest of the Blogger team, like Graham and John P. For the next two days, I didn't off my computer.
Holy shit, I slept for 2 hours and reporters were calling in from Today, ST and Newpaper!! Wah lau.
Rest of the day was spent taking photos for the newspapers and getting interviewed. Kinda felt good coz I can abuse the culprit - the reporters were only too glad too listen! Yay!
Apparently, my ST article was supposed to be on front page. I didn't even know the magnitude of the event! When I arrived at the very big SPH, I saw, at the hotel-like lobby, a serious-looking LED black screen with a scrolling marquee of red words, reciting the headline news of the day.
It was grandly situated above the receptionists' heads, alerting the world of important events unfolding as we read it here first.
What stock is dropping, Bloomberg this, reuters that, terrorists and accidents.
AND THEN I SAW IT:
HACKER DELETES ALL OF XIAXUE'S BLOG ENTRIES
Happily scrolling at the severe LED screen, as if it was worthy. MY NAME LEH (albeit a fake one), among others like Bush and our dear Mr Mah Bow Tan! I AM NOT WORTHY!!
MUST.
TAKE.
PICTURE!
I waited for a while to get the shot, waiting for the headlines to scroll back again, but all was black. The receptionist told me that the one I saw was the last time the headlines rolled for the day - it stops at 545 sharp.
GOT SO SUAY OR NOT YOU TELL ME? THAT I HAPPEN TO SEE IT FOR THE LAST TIME? Nonetheless:
You can ownself imagine lah hor.
*******************
Next day, articles:
From Today
And... Dare I show it?
Courtesy of ST
KNNBCCB!!
I look fucking fat can? We took so many photos, and many were not fat lor! They had to catch me when I was not sucking in, and obviously that stupid pose the tummy will drop to the side right. Chee...ken mcnugget.
Yeah lah, you are saying if I know I am fat then I don't wear like that lah! But hor, Newpaper wanted to do any article on sexy females, then they asked me to wear sexier what! How I know stupid ST also wanted a photoshoot that day?
I took photos in another red dress (very nice one, you will see on Sunday Newpaper!!) but ST HAD to choose this fugly one.
I think ST is out to sabo me. Throughout the article, I don't see the link to my webpage.
I don't know if this is delibrate, but WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT A SITE IF YOU DON'T LINK THE SITE? A bit stupid right?
A bit of photoshop would have salvaged the photo, but did they bother? NO. Jerks!
Alas. London got bombed, so the article got pushed to page 16 instead of cover. My condolences to those affected, but that's another entry altogether.
........................
The police report:
Smell accompanied me to the local police station to file a report. Him, covering himself with my fat article.
Together we can fight Crime!
Wah, our president looking down upon us, bestowing his infinite wisdom and sense of justice. Criminals see liao also scared.
While I give my report, Smelly (he is not really smelly by the way) reads the article for the first time...
"I look very fat in that photo hor?"
"You have always been fat what, since when you got thin before?"
"Wah lau you."
"Yeah lah, who ask you go wear like that... So fat still dare to wear like that."
And he pinches me on my side tummy and laughed. The policeman kindly lent me his baton and I whacked Smelly's head with it. He cried.
Smelly and I found this postcard, it is very funny!
I like the beng at the right leh! Don't you think his expression is damn realistic? And he really looks beng! So funny! The little boy at the back looks like a xiao gin nah.
(As we were very bored with the cop taking such a long time,) Smell said that the guy in the middle looks like he is very shocked.
I said, No, he looks like he is standing up to want to fight!
I imitated getting out of my chair suddenly with a shout of "NOT HAPPY AH?!" and I scared my friendly neighbourhood police. He stared at me.
-_-
Smell had a look at the postcard, and had at look at my article, and he said,
"JIE! Your black face looks like one of them leh!"
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I have to say I thoroughly agree.
Later, after a lot of scrutiny at the photo, we also discovered something...
Atas bengs! Hahhahah lousy producer!
Ok now for the real thing! Check out the police report... It is actually damn funny coz the cop's grammar is... Here's a feast for those of you who say mine is bad!
Click to enlarge
Funny not? Hahaha...
Now I'm waiting for blogger and gmail's responses. You die, fucker! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!
Ok this is a super long blog entry... I've got to go out soon, so i'll write just a bit more...
Analysing what the hacker did, I do not think he really hates me (how can he hate me when he doesnt even know me?) but was in for some fun (though it was malicious and at my expense) and attention.
How do I know? Because he could have done a lot worse if he sincerely disliked me to the core. Well, either that or he is really stupid.
Imagine the harm done should he publish all my private emails? Imagine if he didn't delete the blog, but mimicked a real blog entry that said I am closing down the site (to make me lose readers)?
But no. His actions were symbolic of a frisky teen who managed to get into an account of a famous person (I am famous coz I was on the ST scrolling marquee!), and rubbing his hands in glee.
Without thinking, he did what he thought was the most damaging: Deleting my mails and blogs.
He also, childishly, changed my gmail name to Mr Tan Kok Wan, and urged people to give him attention by allowing comments on my blog - even to the extent of writing such a childish blog entry.
He tried to cause me trauma by losing all my stuff. He tried to kill the online personality Xiaxue...
But what he did achieve in the end:
- That I emerge stronger than before
- He made me realise I have so many readers who care for me, and
- So many real-life friends who will be there for me
- Blogger will always be there for their consumers - me included, so I can rest assured.
- My blog is back, exactly the same before he tainted it
- Publicity from various newspapers, priceless. Readership is up to 15,000 a day now, unique visitors - and some new readers are bound to like me.
- Best of all, he himself being in jeopardy of going to jail for his mischief.
So now, the only thing that happened which is bad, is that my mails are all gone. Which is kinda ok, alot of junk inside anyway. =)
...............
Last bit: There has been a lot of Anti-Xiaxue sentiments going on recently, and it kinda irks me because I feel that a lot of readers, from reading their comments, don't even know what is going on.
They simply jump onto the bandwagon and decide they don't like me, without substantial reasons.
For example, I read somewhere that someone thinks I deserve, and should have expected to be hacked because
1) I don't give up my seat to pregnant ladies
2) I was mean to taxi-snatching girl
3) I was mean to SPG and her fans surely took revenge.
OK let me explain myself once and for all.
1) I do give up seats to everyone who is needy. Please read that old, old article properly before accusing me - I am sick of explaining myself.
2) Cab-girl snatched my cab, and when online to a forum to say mean things about me, and these were FALSE mean things. She started it, geddit? I merely defended myself. What's wrong with that? Don't tell me you will swallow it if people accuse you like that.
3) I am sick sick sick of the SPG thing. I believe people who get themselves agitated over the SPG issue are in actual fact, non-readers of Izzy.
Those who read Izzy's blog, and sincerely appreciate it, I believe, are educated and mature individuals - not the slimeballs that talk so much. How do I know? Because she WRITES most of the time, and not just strip. Her prose is far too... dare I say that word again, cheam, for these stupid empty vessels who have so much to say.
Furthermore, readers of Izzy will realise that she herself is not upset over what I wrote - on both occasions no less.
I will say this in a very big font lest you miss it:
I AM OK WITH IT, SHE IS OK WITH IT, WHO ARE YOU TO TALK SO MUCH?
Well, that's all I have to say regarding my haters. Stop jumping on to the bandwagon like that, and do not assume what you read from other people's blogs (about me) are indeed true. Take some time, read through my archives - if you still find me so loathesome, go ahead and dislike me.
I am not that bad, really. I do think I am a nice girl - just a little more frank and hot-headed than any other girl on the streets - but essentially the same.
AND KENNY AND I ARE STILL GOOD FRIENDS, THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN! We've talked things out, and I believe this has made us understand each other a little better. =)
Last but not least - I'm super late - I'm on Class95's blind dates!
How cool is that? Well, ignore that very arrogant little description of myself, I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote that. =)
If you want to have a fully paid dinner with me (shiok, they will book the whole place!), please write in to join. I am really not that scary in real life, I promise. Just a wee bit bitchier than most girls maybe... But I am definitely interesting and I think, quite funny. Hahaha...
And also, I will not blog about you if you don't allow me to.
Tata! I'm going out for dinner, and I'm in a mighty good mood! I hope you are too!
I am back
Thank you everyone, the hundreds who wrote such nice things to me. I love you ALL!!!!!
Monday, July 18, 2005
I do not think it is ok at all.
It is one thing for a young, and maybe naive girl to behave as if her body is a cheap attention grabbing tool. Maybe she has not experienced life enough, maybe she has not thought this through.
But it is another for males surrounding the girl to wolf-whistle, to encourage her to take off more clothes!
For what? For YOUR OWN FUCKING PLEASURE. For you want to wank to her breasts, you want that nice feeling when your own selfish penis hardens. So you can imagine her in the dark room of yours, rubbing yourselves against bolsters, thinking of her as a sex object, lips around your member. Did you treat her as a human with feelings, or just an empty vagina for you to plunge your penis into?
You selfish bastards. If she were your younger sister, or your girlfriend, would you do the same and encourage her to keep stripping for free? Tell me in the face YES, and I accept your excuse that it is for "art". Art my ass.
Pigs. Men. I look down on all of you there.
Why do I not see guys saying that her behaviour is something shameless and cheap? I would have respected the solitary guy that told the facts as clearly as the emperor is naked. It is. It is no glorious act to peel off your straps in a room, press your breasts against an attached man, and allow the world to take photos. I do not think it is the right behaviour, but why isn't anyone agreeing with me? What are your breasts, a blonde joke to make everyone's head swivel to your direction?
It isn't art, certainly. It isn't fun. It isn't funny either.
This is just my personal opinion. A body is given by, depending on what you believe in, God or your parents. It is nurtured with love, and it totally up to you what you want to do it.
Do you want to use your flesh for money? Or would you keep it for those who loves you, or you love back? Maybe you like the pleasure it gives you when you indulge in certain activities...
But eventually one thing is clear: If you cheapen your body to that kind of extent, no one will find it valuable anymore. If that is fine with you, so be it. Play it smart I suppose. Many people are sluts, but why announce it to the world?
Being 'comfortable' with your body doesn't mean you can anyhow take off your clothes and shove your breasts into people's chests in glaring public. YOU are comfortable being naked, but that is no reason for peeling off garments, is it? Others around may not be comfortable. There are women, underage teens, and even kids running around.
And yet, people are applauding. The "lucky" man makes use of this golden photo for more publicity, neglecting the fact that this might once again go on newspapers and the young girl's parents are unhappy enough as it is. It is sick to me, just sick.
Nudity is ok in your personal space, you can say people who see the photos came in themselves. Nude photos can PASSABLY be called art. But flashing... That's where I draw my line. I think it is crude, tasteless, and not to mention a cheap stab at getting attention.
Nice try, but not bombastic enough: Why not spread your legs, hold them up tightly behind your ears, and let everyone have a clear look at your genitals? If they want, they also can insert foreign objects inside. And feel free to blog about it!
I am not banking on anything here - and I am not saying what caused me to write this. This is just my two cents worth. I am truly affected and upset by what blogs represent nowadays.
Xiaxue, lighten up! you people exclaim. No I wouldn't. I am appalled. I remember when I was working for a make-up counter, this transvestite with fake D-cup boobs was wearing a sheer silk top that her nipples showed only too clearly.
She squeezed her tits in front of June and I, in public, and announced that they feel itchy. She continued doing some obscene actions with her breasts, to get the attention of this guy she liked, who was looking on nearby.
While it was in jest, I found it pretty insulting that she (by she I mean him) put the female body parts to such use, which don't even belong to her in the first place.
I then told June, only trannies will do that to their 'breasts', because they don't know the humility, modesty and graciousness that only comes with years of protecting and covering a body part that not only feeds your child in future, but has been protected from prying, lewd male eyes for so long.
I think I may be wrong.
I would just like to give my teenage female readers a few words of advice, that is if you girls care about what I say. Flashing your breasts wouldn't make you a unique, or as so many idiots described, BRAVE (I find it so ludicrous I almost cried. In the past, bravery is when you fight dragons. Nowadays, you just flash a boob and you are so FUCKING brave) person. You are just one of the many who tried using that method; you are nothing special. Try something new please.
I don't care if I have contradicted myself N times. I don't care if I also affect kids to write vulgar language from my blog. That is not the issue today. I don't give a shit whether you say I am jealous, which I am not. I don't think I'm being malicious - it is the act of flashing, and more importantly, THE ABSURD APPROVAL SOMETHING AS WRONG AS THAT GETS FROM THE PUBLIC, that I am concerned about.
I shall blog this out and no one can stop me...
For I, for one, would not like to see my future daughter behaving in this manner.
I do not think it is ok, and I will not advocate this behaviour.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
*sobs*
I suppose you please don't read the comments if you don't want spoilers. Meanwhile, I have to say the books is fabulous. Fuck it, I shall blog. No spoilers.
I think book 6 is good, much better than 5! Harry Potter is no longer the moody, irritating prat he was in book 5. Although he is still rude at times, even to Dumbledore (which I totally disapprove of him being), he is not longer arrogant and sprouting irresponsible statements like I am the best because I fought Voldemort XX times! Give him a tight slap.
So anyway, there is this scene inside the book, about violent, poorly educated and poor pure-blood wizards living in a destitute house. The pure-bloods thought themselves superior to muggles, but the daughter of the household liked a muggle-born.
Was found out by angry father, etc.
Reminds you of something? TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD! Totally! Where the white family of Bob or Bruce something (I sincerely forgot his name) had his daugther liking a black man (whom, despite being polite and definitely having more class than the white man, was despised by the latter).
Hmmm...
I didn't like the love scenes though. But overall, the book was funny (when Hermione got boxed especially) and exciting, but had abrupt, unexplained bits (like Harry's new true love - like huh, since when he likes her?) and was a bit too lovey dovey.
I would have liked Krum to come back, and Neville to fall down more, but don't have leh. Where are the Drumstrang students?
Bye bye, I shall go read it again, and trying to skip the kissing bits. Yuck!
Added later: Ok you know what? I am like the biggest Harry Potter fan there is OK! I am the BIGGEST! I took quizzes, and I got 'em answers all correct a la Hermione standards!
What is Dumbledore's full name? What's Harry's favourite food? What's Aunt Petunia's maiden name? I KNOW EVERYTHING!
Shuyin was at my place that day, and she was reading book one. She casually asked, "What does the word 'prudent' mean?"
I answered her quite wrongly that he meant for one to be polite, but guess what? I can quote her where that word came from, who said it, and during what situation.
(Which, in case you are even vaguely interested, came from Lucius Malfoy, at Burkins and Borkes or whatever that shop is called, to Draco, telling him something like "I have told you many times Draco, it is not wise to appear [I EVEN TOLD SHUYIN GOT ONE DASH THERE!!! But in actual face it is ..., not dash] - prudent - to Harry Potter, for he is our headmaster's favourite.")
Thursday, July 14, 2005
REVIEWS ON YOUR MAXIM ARTICLE
From: Dawn Lee
To: xiaxue@gmail.com
Date: Jul 15, 2005 10:04 AM
Subject: REVIEWS ON YOUR MAXIM ARTICLE
Hi Xiaxue,
I would love to hate you and I hate to love you.
First of all, aren’t you glad that you’ve such a wonderful yet notorious medium to say crappy things that affect people’s life and degrade yourself in a way till a lot of women are beginning to hate you as a stranger? They bite you know. Aren’t you afraid that someone will come to you and wrap you in a gunny sack for a good bashing? You whore!
Degrading other women doesn’t make you look somewhere near to glamorous. You are degrading yourself by degrading other people, in some way or another. Writers should portray writing etiquette but not misuse their rights to feed readers with inane remarks.
Anyway, I am writing to you to show my DISCONTENTMENT on your article about flight stewardesses. You can only write that in Maxim, see, I bet you will never have a chance to write in a female magazine. Pleasing men with your form of entertainment will only make the opposite gender resent, you know. (FYI, I wasn’t reading your article, I heard it from my guy friend)
10 reasons why I think that you are just plain jealous of the job:
1) You are TOO short. (can’t get it, bad mouth it!) Right huh? Prove me wrong, Xiaxue. I challenge you to go for SIA interviews, show me that you can at least pass the basic height requirement. Yoohooo… you know what, never in your life you can, right. Teehee.
2) You are TOO fat and over-photo shopped. You know what, your panda eyes look are totally hideous.
3) You have too much hatred and jealousy in you towards others. What you wore was a FAKE red kebaya, dearie. A FAKE red over-sized kebaya and even the old man at Chinatown was mocking at you because you can never wear an authentic one. Ya?
4) You have no poise or grace AT ALL. Foul mouth bastardress.
5) You have no class AT ALL.
6) You are carrying a fake LV bag. What you are carrying is an imitation of a mini monogram Papillion and by the way, Papillion does not come with a long strap. *roll eyes. Shame on you, Xiaxue. Fancy carrying that, dimwit.
7) You are clouded by arrogance. To you, you young and naïve, people around you are “worshipping” you because of what YOU'VE BECOME not who YOU ARE. I see the day when you fall and tear apart with no one by your side, you noe. You smelly cunt.
8) You will not get to fly all around the world in your whole, entire life, mark my words, you pathetic piece of biatch.
9) You actually wear platforms. Yeah, though you are vertically challenged, platforms is a miss for goodness sake.
10) You describe them as just waitresses. Is being a waitress degrading to you? Hallo? Are you saying that a toilet cleaner is a degrading job as well? Do no eat in cafes ya, because waitresses are not bound to be respected and they should just DIE because Xiaxue thinks that they are degrading. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO DROP SUCH HURTFUL REMARKS, MISS XIAXUE?
This list could have go on forever. Just my two cents worth. And know what, I really like the whole idea of the gunny sack thing. :)
......................................
Oh! *feigns tiredness*
I am so exhausted from preparing for the bloggercon! Although all I have to do is to prepare a logo page and a speech! But god am I tired!
So therefore, can you can kindly do the arguing for me?
CORRECT FALLACIES AND CONTRADICTIONS! Ready? Set?
GO!
I'll do mine tonight.
(DO NOT SAY I AM MEAN FOR PUBLISHING HER EMAIL. It is stated, VERY CLEARLY, on the sidebar that I said I might publish it any email sent to me. Therefore, knowing that and not requesting for me to keep her email private, she is asking for it. If she didn't see it, she's a blind stewardess and I'd love to meet her, I've never seen one!)
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Did anyone notice...
Everytime I see people discussing seriously on the topic and someone spells T.T I will laugh out loud.
I know...Very bimbotic right?
But oh well... Lighten up people! Maybe more of my views when I come back from Zouk tonight.
And are you coming to the bloggercon this saturday? I'll be there. It's the first blogger conference ever in Singapore, so everyone who's a blogger or blog reader should come!
Cheerios!
Monday, July 11, 2005
We are so ugly
In order to properly convince you, the mission starts, at my place. (Pictures taken the same day Weili's face got REALLY oily)
Isn't she beautiful? HA! Soon she wouldn't be!!
A pink crayon eyeshadow later...
And the artist adds colour:
The results:
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GAH!!!
Please don't tell her how she looks like...
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GAH!!!
If you noticed carefully, my nostrils have a black lining, and one eyebrow points up and the other points down.
And the mouth: You wouldn't believe who drew it. Shuyin wanted to give me normal lips, but my mom came into the room, looked at Shuyin drawing my lips, snatched the lipliner over and TOOK OVER!
She happily drew the mouth WAY out of line. -_- Got this kinda of mom or not you tell me?!?!??! Like that sabo her own daughter!
Wait, I see Cloudy...
Teeheehee....!
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Gah!!
Meanwhile, Shuyin is not happy...
(Yes I see my girdle at the back. So?)
Hmmmm....
WE ARE SO UGLY!!!!